I'm sorry Polyxene, but there hasn't been enough beer made since the beginning of time to drink Helen Thomas pretty. She is what we real drinkers call "coyote ugly", that is if you wake up with her head on your arm, you gnaw your arm off to keep from waking her up!
LOL! You are SO right! Helen gives a whole new meaning to the word, "ugly"! Gotta be another adjective to describe that NAG HAG!