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Scenerio:

NORAD: San Francisco, we have a confirmed, high confidence launch of a milti-headed nuclear vehicle with a trajectory that would detonate over your city in 25 minutes. NORAD command has orders to contact you first before destroying the vehicle before reentry and detonation, as you have resolutions in place to prevent any action of war. We have launched a mass retaliatory strike against China and North Korea. The bad news is that you'll only get hit once, the good news is that we'll probably sustain few casualties. Please tell us what we should do....immediately.

SanFran: NORAD we can't find anyone in the office. They are all attending a Berkley peace rally and gay pride parade could you put the missle on "hold"?

NORAD: SanFran, "hold" is not an option. We need your decision immediately! You now have 21 minutes and 45 seconds.

SanFran: Well, well, well! You military types are such a "Bogarting" bunch, you should just chill. I'll get right back to you.

{Hold music is "War, What Is It Good For"}

5 minutes later:

SanFran: I have contacted the ACLU and they said you have no right to order the great city of SanFran around. So, I'll just have to tell you that I think you are a bunch of lying fascists pig that are a part of the military-industrial complex that hate peace and love.

NORAD: SanFran you now have 14 minutes and 2 seconds until impact. WE NEED YOUR DECISION NOW!

SanFran: Don't you scream at me you pig! I don't need that kind of thing. We are all about diversity and love and peace. I'm going to put the City Attorney on the line you a$$hole!

{fumbling with the phone and background talk}

SanFran: This is the City Attorney of the great City of San Francisco and I resent the military pushing us around. You are not allowed to even recruit in our fair city. Who do you think you are?

NORAD: We are NORAD, Sir. Due to your policies we need to contact you about shooting down the nuclear war head that will impact on your "FAIR" city in....12 Minutes and 10 seconds.

SanFran: Don't YOU give ME an ultimatum, we'll sue you into the stone age, and don't you think I can't. We have the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals. We'll tie you up in court so long that you'll never see the light of day.

NORAD: Speaking of the light of day, sir, you have 8 minutes and 10 seconds to impact.

SanFran: Don't try that IMPACT intimidation on me. You are lying and we know it. I'm cell phoning the Mayor and the city managers about this. The Mayor is scheduled to perform a gay wedding....I'll be right back.

{5 minutes later}

SanFran: NORAD, you bastards will not intimidate this city and it's citizens, the Mayor has told me to tell you that you can go to hell.

NORAD: Need a decision FAST, Sir!

SanFran: Listen, you facists, we hate your ideals, we hate your green uniforms..yada...yada...yada...yada..We won't capitulate to the military-industrial complex. I agree with the Mayor, GO TO HELL!!!

NORAD: Speaking of Hell, counselor, you have 2 minutes and 40 seconds to IMPACT! Is that your final decision?

SanFran: How dare you refuse me defense! How dare you refuse to help San Francisco.....yada...yada....yada...yada...yada.......!

NORAD: Is this your final decision, Sir?

SanFran: You mean you Nazi bastards won't protect us?

NORAD: Can't sir, you have incoming! 10 seconds, 9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1

NORAD: IMPACT!

{high screach on phone...then static}.