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To: silverleaf
By the way, the medical information is so sketchy on Russian adoptions and from what I understand, the costs are unknown, I have a lot of respect for families whose eyes are wide open but who decide to adopt from Russia anyway. Those children are not thriving in orphanages and God Bless the parents who rescue them.

But the fact remains 13 children have been murdered in these families. I suspect racism and general unfitness to be a parent may be at the root cause. What do you think has caused this problem?

20 posted on 07/20/2005 12:37:38 PM PDT by old and tired
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To: old and tired
I suspect racism and general unfitness to be a parent may be at the root cause

I suspect you have never parented a child with reactive attachment disorder.

22 posted on 07/20/2005 1:05:29 PM PDT by MarMema
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To: old and tired
Why are you so angry and making assumptions about me?

YGBSM. You're the one who posted the comment that "a lot" of "racist losers" were adopting from Russian. I do not think anyone reading that needs to make "assumptions" about your views. Approximately 30,000 kids gave been adopted from Russia or other EE countries in the past decade. Define "a lot" for me in your views of how many are being raised by racist losers.

I spend several hours every day networking with other adopters of Russian children who are dealing with RAD (do you know what that is, and what causes it?).....parents who are battling to get a diagnosis of the brain damage and treatment for kids suffering from fetal alcohol exposure, people whose kids don't know how to stand, sit, sing or eat, much less love or trust another human being; people who spend month after month after month of rocking frightened screaming struggling scratching kids- some of them pre-teenagers- to sleep; people who literally dissolve into their homes because it is unsafe or unhappy to take their hyperactive dangerously impulsive children sexually precocious kids out in public; people who cry via the internet because their kids either get better so slowly or they don't get better at all or they get worse, and the adoptive parents feel like failures.

We can't even imagine the conditions in Russia that produce children with these issues. We adopt these children who are survivors of extreme familial and societal neglect. They have survived being sent to orphanage cribs from their hospitals of birth because they are strong. But the behaviors that help them survive, push humanity away and are very difficult to heal. Some never do.

The consensus in our community is that Peggy Sue Hilt probably "lost it" and beat to death a child with severely resistant behaviors, the root cause of which may never have been apparent or revealed to Ms Hilt when she adopted, as in fetal alchol exposure or severe attachment disorder. Post adoption (as in post partum) depression, exhaustion, unrealistic expectations, lack of a true support network for respite care and advice, and poor anger management, are usually at the root of child abuse and death, birth child or adopted.

BTW, my family choice was to be a biracial family, which we did through adoption of a noncaucasian child. It is ALWAYS a choice whether or not to form a biracial family. People do not deserve to be disparaged, no matter which way they choose. You know what difficulties you face when you choose to go biracial and you chose to do it anyway. So did I. But I am surprised that you would cast such a large stone at anyone who would adopt any orphaned child. White, Hispanic, Asian and Black, they all die the same sad deaths, alone, when no one adopts them.
23 posted on 07/20/2005 1:11:24 PM PDT by silverleaf (Fasten your seat belts- it's going to be a BUMPY ride.)
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