Bias against Southerners misses the mark

Pasco Times ^ | July 11, 2005 | RICHARD COX

[M. Espinola]

President & VP of your future "independent Southern nation"

[Smokin' Joe]

It was Grand Forks, ND. A little farther north.

[x]

Burlington, a college town, is home to Vermont's socialist congressman, as well as Ben and Jerry. It's actually a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there.

[Wampus SC]

A red X. That figures.

While you're looking for something else to post to make up for your failure, here's a picture from your Abe Lincoln's Birthday parade. I think that's modernman carrying the flag.

[M. Espinola]

What's the matter Stonewall, did the photo of the mythical 'President' of that invented redneck 'republic' of yours, hatched in your depraved, underhanded mindset, remind you, of you, or the multiplicity of your fellow two-faced, double-dealing, swamp dwellers?

What's it going to be Stonedog?

[Wampus SC]

Well, demon, the picture appears as a red X. That means you posted a link to something that doesn't exist. You probably misspelled the link. I'd like to see it, so please recheck it, and try posting it again.

If you don't know how to see your own posts, a 3rd grade primer on using the "page up" key will explain it to you.

Thanks, you bucket of stinking hyena vomit chunks.

[Wampus SC]

Another Day in Mondo Moderno
This Episode - Sawdust Sandwiches
or
My Dad Can Wimp Your Dad
[We rejoin our happy crew after COMMODEnman's son, COMMODEnman Jr., has finished the Feminization Summer Camp his daddy sent him to. Now it's back to school. He's having lunch with his good friend, E. Spazzola, and two very unwilling lunch table mates, Jim and Rob.]

"Wowie zowie, Modie! That Feminization Summercamp made you a changed person!" E. Spazzola couldn't contain his enthusiasm.

"Yes, I know. I'm perfect now. So shut up and only talk about what I want", he said, watching himself in a mirror just like daddy's. "Jim, I'll give you $500 and a day spa membership if you trade your lunch for mine".

"What'cha got?"

"A sawdust sandwich. I've only had sawdust sandwiches to eat since Direct Nuclear Hit Isabel which caused the lights to go out, and when the lights went out, that caused the end of the world. They came from that tree that fell on the house".

"You can't eat sawdust sandwiches." Jim and Rob exchange knowing looks.

"Yes you can, and I'll prove it. Jim, Rob, you are paranoid toothless barefoot swamp dwelling sister boinkers! And you're hillbilly hicks who are just jealous that you don't have a Marie Antoinette costume made of pine needles! There. That proves you can eat them. I learned how to do that from my dad, and I know it's true because he told me he outranks God. Now swap! And you better thank me, because it's a gourmet sawdust sandwich. My dad only allows gourmet trees to grow in OUR yard! And shut up, E. Spazzola".

"But I wasn't saying anything", Spazzola protests.

"I know you weren't saying anything, and I heard every word. You weren't saying anything, that's why you should stop talking, you gap toothed drunken inbred white trash." Spazzie, as always, sees that Modie's logic is flawless, and keeps on talking agelessly to avoid saying anything. Jim cautiously looks inside the sawdust sandwich while forking over the cake. "Ahhhhh, cake!"

"Modie", says Rob, "I've always wondered what your dad does."

"He works in the library raising Christmas trees."

"You can't raise Christmas trees in a library!"

"He grows them on a farm in his colony, Virginia. He's never seen the place because he's better than that. He has all the work done by menial, dirty, minority locals who he needs to colonize because they're savages, and need to be civilized so they'll see the only reason they exist is to serve their betters, like my dad. My dad says that since he's a white man, it's his burden to do this."

"What the hell does all that mean?"

"I don't know. My dad says I should just call them locals. He says it's so I can remember to tell them apart from people. Me and my dad are people. They're just locals. If I called them people, I'd be saying that there might be something in common between me and those who are clearly beneath my station. Which they are, because they're not me. I'm tired of answering your stupid questions, you backwards neoconfederate. What are you and Rob doing tonight, Jim?"

"We're helping our dad get ready for that hurricane that's coming. We're clearing the closet in case there's a tornado; gassing up the generator; sharpening the chainsaw; and storing some extra water. We're ready. What are you gonna do to get ready?"

"Nothing. Except maybe sit around and say that people who are doing what you are doing are stupid. He says that will protect us from all harm."

"What if we get those 100 mph winds like the weatherman says on TV"?

"My dad will go outside and yell at God. He'll say, "God, I forbid you do this! I have rejected you, and that makes you so much lower than I am. You have no choice but to obey me, because I am COMMODEnman, and you are NOTHING compared to MEEEEEEEEEeeeeeee! Do you hear that God? You rural Neoconfederate you! Do you? Huh? BWAAAAAHAAAAHAAAAA HAAA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HOO HOO HEE HEE HA HA HOO HOO WOOO WOOO WEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeee eeeee.... eeeee... eeee...".

Jim and Rob look at each other for a long time. After a very long silence, Rob tentatively ventures, "what if a tree falls on your house, like last time?"

"My dad will sit in the yard and say "people with chainsaws are stupid". That will make the tree disappear."

And they all moved away from him on the bench. All except for E. Spazzola, who kept talking so he wouldn't say anything.

"What if the water goes out?", Jim asks, not even bothering to hide a smirk.

"My dad says if that happens we'll drink water polluted with chemicals and sewer overflow from a puddle in the middle of the street. Then we'll get violently sick and die! That'll show those idiots! Those who stored water will live because they were stupid enough to store it! But my family will all die a horrible death! That'll show them once and for all how superior we are to them, and brilliant too! That will make the doublewides and alligators stop laughing at me! Can your dad do that? HA! Thought not! BWAAAAAHAAAAHAAAAA HAAA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HOO HOO HEE HEE HA HA HOO HOO WOOO WOOO WEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeee eeeee.... eeeee... eeee...".

[Next time - E. Spazzola and COMMODEnman buy gas at Hilton Head.]

-------------------------------------------------------

Copyright © 2005 by that dirty colonized inbred known on Free Republic as Wampus SC. All rights reserved. May not be distributed or reproduced in whole or part without prior written permission of the author.

Diss Claimer: This story is fictional. Any resemblance to actual persons in coincidental. Really. Yes, I really mean it. Would I kid you? Any imagined resemblance to yourself or strange feeling that you're being talked about is a product of your fevered brain, you weirdo. But if you see anything like that, you must explain what you saw that reminded you of yourself so much.

[M. Espinola]

"Well, demon,...

You mean the legions lurking inside you Stonewall?

"the picture appears as a red X. That means you posted a link to something that doesn't exist.

Maybe it's far better for the viewers, you never did take a decent, respectable photograph anyway, since you always come out looking something similar to what could revoltingly described as a "bucket of stinking hyena vomit chunks."

That's alright dog, ("y'all") look that way, and speak the same :)

[Wampus SC]

I had no idea you regarded me so highly as to compare me with Stonewall. My sincere thanks.

"Stonedog".
I doubt you know what a Stone Dog is, except in the unlikely event you understand some of the symbolism of indigenous north american plains cultures. If you knew, I doubt you'd call me that, because it's such a honorable, meritorious title.

But anyway, I accept. Actually, I'm nonplussed. I had no idea you liked me that much. (blush)

[Wampus SC]

"You mean the legions lurking inside you Stonewall?"

No, I called you a demon. Do you know what this means? It means you're in the final throes of trolldom when it becomes a terminal condition. At this stage the troll can no longer tell the difference between itself and the person it is talking to. It happens every time. It's happening now. What comes next: soon after this you will quote yourself and argue with your own words, thinking you are arguing with me. Watch for it.

Now you're foaming at the mouth just because you can't face it that you made a simple little typo, and I was just trying to help you post the picture you wanted to post. But that's the kind of reaction I expect from you, you perverted spawn of the unwashed armpit of a disease ridden crack whore and a decayed turtle anus.

"Maybe it's far better for the viewers, you never did take a decent, respectable photograph anyway, since you always come out looking something similar to what could revoltingly described as a "bucket of stinking hyena vomit chunks.""

This part of the experiment concluded well ahead of what was expected. You know - the part where we find out how long it takes for you to be unable to do anything but take random snippets of my words, parrot them back at me, and think you're making a point. When the subject does this in several consecutive posts, we consider that the subject has verified that he has been reduced to this. That point is now. The other thing that was to be determined was how easily you could be made to do this without knowing you were being made to. On the scale of 1 being the easiest and 10 being the moist difficult, you score 0.5.

[M. Espinola]

This thread is entitled "Bias against Southerners misses the mark". It's the backward cells of semi-human sand fleas, such as yourself, which promotes such a poor image. However your perpetual state of fanatical rebellion does not, nor shall not ever represent the the popular views of the majority population residing in the South, or any other section of The United States.

You may now slither away.

[A Jovial Cad]

You gonna do something about it, tough guy?

Just keep laughing at the antics of the trash I encounter from time to time. Keyboard Kowards on a Krusade have never impressed me all that much, truth be told...

Or just whine some more?

LOL...now that's rich, coming from the likes of you; thanks for the ongoing laughs. A one-manboy comedy act you are, and all in one thread. Priceless!

BTW, this is not a debate, so don't call it that

I've noticed, and so has every other adult participating in this thread. That's why, as you keep posting, we keep laughing. One simply couldn't make this kind of juvenile bilge up...

By all means, proceeeed! ...(*snicker*)...

[A Jovial Cad]

"But that's the kind of reaction I expect from you, you perverted spawn of the unwashed armpit of a disease ridden crack whore and a decayed turtle anus"

-Wampus SC

Now, dagnabbit, Espinola! There you go upstaging me again! I wanted the "honor" of such a description from our hysterical, semi-literate friend "Wampus," and here you go and steal that from me with your ongoing, relentless posting of irrefutable facts!

You've got a hell of a nerve...

/sarcasm

ALL: I'm addressing this to those on the "Confederate" side of the issue. Surely, regardless of whatever else we may disagree on, you cannot countenance such as quoted, precisely & accurately, above by "Wampus" as reflective of anything a gentleman, let alone a Southern gentleman, could possibly endorse.

I make mistakes, and when I do I'm forthright and open about it. When "capitan" was exposed as telling a falsehood back when one of your allies posted his Opus, I was straightforward in denouncing his actions and asking a mod to delete a post of mine in that Opus that had been proved to be 1/4 untrue based on facts I'd been unaware of, all despite the fact that I believe that "capitan," no matter his faults, was still essentially correct in his posted beliefs about this issue--and that the other 3/4 of said post was ABSOLUTELY factual.

And in this very thread that has been demonstrated again: I may be many things, but intellectually dishonest, and dishonorable, is not one of them.

Casting aspersions on a man one is snarling at is one thing, and understandable. I've been in enough flame wars to know. Casting aspersions such as I've quoted, on a man's parentage and in those terms, is simply beyond the pale. On that point, decent people should agree. Indeed, I'll bet that both General Lee and Jefferson Davis would blush with shame to think that such filthy statements would be advanced on behalf of their cause, for whatever reason. Mistaken as may I believe their cause to have been, they were nevertheless Gentlemen.

And so what say you?

[stand watie]

every DUMB-bunny post you make, which requires neither thought, logic, intelligence and/or education, marks you as FR's chief FOOL & LUNATIC.

don't you get tired of being laughed at???

most FReepers believe you to be a DUNCE of the 1st rank.

free dixie,sw

[stand watie]

and you point is WHAT?

do you have a point or are you just being a DUNCE & a HATER??

free dixie,sw

[stand watie]

well said.

rotflmRao.

MOST of the damnyankee coven on FR are so dumb that they don't know that MOST FReepers lol AT them.

PITY.

free dixie,sw

[Temple Owl]

The best bumpersticker I ever saw was down in Florida. it said, "When I retire I'm going to move up north and DRIVE SLOW." I still chuckle.

[stand watie]

exactly.

free dixie,sw

[stand watie]

YEP.

free dixie,sw

[stand watie]

also, YEP.

free dixie,sw