Nope..."and guest" was the way to go. Worked great, people RSVP'ed with the numbers I needed, and we served a buffet with NO place cards. I am not about to figure out how to seat a vegan, leftist art student next to someone who is a conservative, Atkins-dieting engineer. No and no!
This worked quite well. The reception was in an old mansion owned by a local college, overlooking the river. Dining was at large, circular tables lit by candles. People tended to sit in groups of 4 or 6, and were joined by other groups. No one seemed unable to converse, and my husband and I circulated and welcomed people.
I do not like sit-down dinners with place cards. For one thing, there is no way to make a menu that is suitable for everyone. Secondly, you have to pay for waiters, which increases the cost. Third, people don't all get served at the same time. Finally, there is no way to know if people assigned to tables will get along. I would rather they have the option to sit where they wish. Most people under 30 won't pay attention to place cards, anyway.
Oh, please seat me next to that Vegan. I would love to see the look on their face as I delve into a thick, medium rare burger, one with Bacon on it to boot!
"HMMMMMM!!!!The burger is great! Did you guys have some?
Oh, I think I parked next to you guys. Was that your SAAB? The one with the Kucinich sticker still on it? I liked Kucinich, I was hoping he would get the nod for you guys."
Your condescending attitude toward other freepers' valid comments makes it appropriate.
In the South, it is rude to invite a single guest of dating age and determine for them whether they deserve to bring the person they are dating or just want to bring. There are exceptions, but you generally don't do it. Don't invite them if there is not the budget for both.
As far as seating goes the main tables are *sometimes* placecarded at some weddings so crazy aunt Judy doesn't try to sit next to the bride, and the wedding party gets to sit at the main tables. In general, however, people form their own groups. Weddings are celebrations down here, not opportunities for Emily-Post-wannabees to nitpick other people's arrangements.
The Junior League mentality rules here in the South, at the Memphis Country Club and University Club especially, and never have I been to an old money wedding that was as sterile as the one you described.
As far as the article, it is very tacky to crash a wedding, though I have been drug into strange wedding receptions before by family and felt welcome.
The Yankee wedding standard is not universal. You try showing up at my wife's grandmother's Sewing Circle and telling the southern ladies there that my wife's wedding was in poor taste. They'll find something wrong with your outfit and your grammar and have you begging for mercy before you can get out the next sentence.
Everyone should have the kind of wedding they want to have, but there are riles for each kind.
We had under 30s at my daughter's wedding and nobody was upset or ignored the place cards. And the same was true, for all of her friend's wedding receptions.
Nobody gets served at the same time, at buffets, either.
But what, exactly has any of that have to do with the original topic of the thread?