The Man Song by Bob and Tom
I don't take no crap (from anyone else but you),
I wear the pants around here (when I'm finished with your laundry),
Cause I'm a guy you don't wanna fight,
When I say jump (you say, "Yeah Right!")
I'm the man of this house (until you get home).
What I say goes around here (right out the window),
And I don't want to hear a lot of whining (so I'll shut up),
The sooner you learn who's boss around here
(The sooner you can give me my orders, dear),
Cause I'm head honcho around here (but it's all in my head!)
And I can have sex any time (that you want),
'Cause I'm a man who has needs (but they're not that important),
And don't expect any flowers from me ('cause if I'm not mistaken you prefer jewelery),
I'm the king of my castle (when you're not around).
And I'll drink and watch sports whenever I want (to get in trouble),
And I'll come home when I'm good and ready (to sleep on the couch),
'Cause a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do
(and I'm gonna do what you tell me to),
Because I'm top dog around here (but I've been neutered!)