Posted on 06/28/2005 2:42:56 PM PDT by smoothsailing
Wisdom in Some Really Great Quotes
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself: "Lillian, you should have remained a virgin." -- Lillian Carter (mother of the 64th president, Jimmy Carter)
''I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.' '' -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement. -- Mark Twain
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible. -- George Burns
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. -- Mark Twain
What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce. -- Mark Twain
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. -- Groucho Marx
My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. -- Jimmy Durante
The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness and kindness, can be trained to do most things. -- Jilly Cooper
I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back. -- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Don't go around saying that the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. -- Mark Twain
What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money. -- Henny Youngman
Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was "Shut up." -- Joe Namath
Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. -- Herbert Henry Asquith
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. --W.C. Fields
Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you. -- Winston Churchill
By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere. -- Billy Crystal
Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty, but everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out. -- Phyllis Diller
We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. -- Will Rogers
I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap. -- Bob Hope
Copyright © 2005 ChronWatch.
"Lillian Carter (mother of the 64th president, Jimmy Carter)"
Carter was the 39th President.
I don't care who she is, that's funny.
ping
He still has eligibility for another term. Maybe he'll run again in 80 years or so...
"You've learned something. And that always feels at first as though you've lost something." Author unkown.
Don't sweat the petty stuff, and don't pet the sweaty stuff.
Proof positive that Hillary wasn't communing with the ghost of Eleanor Roosevelt. If Hillary had been, she would've learned to have a sense of humor from Eleanor.
Reminds me of:
"Experience is what you get right after you really needed it."
The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it.
P. J. O'Rourke
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