The Church is not for those who refuse to attend. Those who do not attend refuse "fellowship with us" (1 St. John 1.3)
If we were deprived of Christ's message based upon not only our sins but the sins of our parents, I fear the church would no longer exist.
Refusing to attend Mass is not some simple mortal sin like adultery or theft, but outright apostacy from the Christian faith. Such people are to be first admonished, and then shunned. "A factious man avoid after a first and second admonition, knowing that such a one is perverted and sins, being self-condemned." (Letter to St. Titus 3.10-11)
The Catholic Church is not a country club with an "exclusive membership". The church is for everyone.
Only if they actually participate in her program of worship. The Catholic Church is not for those who do not join her children in worship.
As I was taught, only God has the right to judge what is within someone's heart.
As to judging hearts, that power has been given to the pastors of souls (St. Luke 22.30, Acts 20.28, St. Matthew 18.15-17, Hebrews 13.17, etc.), which is why they can both forgive sins and also refuse to give absolution, as well as bind and loose souls from obligations.
I have no doubt that you are well educated on the Cathechism of the Catholic Church. I also know it is hard for those who take their religion and worship seriously to accept or tolerate those who do not. I have no problem with parents being accountable for their failure to donate or their failure to attend mass. My problem comes with refusing children access to religious education.
When I was young, my parents would have fit into this category. They did not attend Mass and did not participate in the parish. They did send me to religious ed. Had this pastor been in charge, I would surely have been removed from classes. But, I wasn't.
Believe it or not, it was these classes that gave me the basic element of my faith. (I wasn't able to attend these classes regularly either). It was this very basic faith that guided me through some very difficult family times. Had I not had that small amount of religious ed, there is no telling where I would have ended up.
Eventually, my mom got her act together. It took years and a lot of encouraging from my siblings and I. She is a fully practicing Catholic now as are my siblings and their families. Very simply stated, CCD once a week was the only thing I had. It provided a foundation that I have continued to build on throughout my life. Maybe as you say, I didn't deserve this Catholic education, but I thank God every day that I received it. As I have shared my story with others, I am amazed at how common it is. I am very thankful that God and my pastor did not give up on me, as this pastor is giving up on the children in his parish.