Whistling Past The Democrat Pol Graveyard (Florida)

Tampa Tribune ^ | 06/19/05 | Daniel Ruth

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Why, there hasn't been this much delusion assembled under one roof since Lyndon LaRouche last dined alone.

This, of course, was a gathering of the Florida Democratic Party, an organ more endangered than John Daly's liver.

Meeting a few days ago in Hollywood, the event drew three contenders for the Democratic gubernatorial nod come next year - state Sen. Rod Smith, Tampa Congressman Jim Davis and former party chairman Scott Maddox.

Death row inmates have more of a future than this trio.

Gracious, a sacrificial lamb has more of a fighting chance.

The candidates from Gallipoli attempted to light a fire under their supporters, which has to be a bit like trying to get a rise out of Generalissimo Francisco Franco.

And thus it is exactly at moments like this that desperate candidates often find themselves uttering more insane blather than a Moody Blues monologue.

``I absolutely believe I can win the next election for governor,'' intoned Rod Smith, who happens to have less name recognition statewide than the Tampa Bay Devil Rays' batboy.

You know, when you linger in public opinion polls behind What'shisname, To Whom It May Concern and Occupant, it's just the merest inkling your campaign is in more trouble than O.J. Simpson's acting career.

Former Tallahassee Mayor Scott Maddox also weighed in, complaining the Democrats have been ``under attack by the Bush brothers far too long.''

Uh, Scott? Not to put too fine a point on it, but isn't one party attacking the other party sorta the whole point of politics?

And Democrats do have to admit - albeit grudgingly - that when it comes to attacking them, Republicans are really good at it.

But for sheer poppycock- squared, it was Jim Davis who stole the show, setting a new standard for unparalleled speaking-in-tonguesesque stump gibberish.

To justify a campaign that has less chance of success than Michael Jackson being appointed the spokesman for UNICEF, Davis argued he's running for governor because, ``There is a growing appetite for change in Tallahassee.''

Uh, Jim, no, no there's not.

Instead Tallahassee is a rather happy place these days, especially for Republicans who seem to be more firmly in control of stuff than the Grim Reaper visiting a hospice.

This year alone, Republicans have raised more than $3 million, while Democrats have only collected $273,000.

The GOP controls a majority of seats in both the state House and Senate, a situation unlikely to change for, oh, the next 400 years, because Republicans control the drawing of legislative districts.

At the same time, regardless of who gets the Democratic gubernatorial nod to walk the plank, the candidate will be facing either Florida Attorney General Charlie Crist or Chief Financial Officer Tom Gallagher, two Republicans with vast statewide favorable name recognition.

The combined field of Democratic gubernatorial contenders, with less name recognition than the Moscow CIA station chief, are running against the Righteous Brothers of the Republican Party. Check.

Republicans also control, with the exception of Bill Nelson's U.S. Senate seat, literally every significant facet of Florida political life. Check.

In addition, Democrats have raised less money than the Roundheads. Check.

And yet Jim Davis insists he sees a ``growing appetite for change in Tallahassee''?!?!?

Who catered the Democratic soiree?

The Borgias?

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This column is written by the Tampa Tribune's resident liberal cheerleader, Daniel Ruth, who is also known as the Mahatma of Metaphor. Despite the author's annoying writing style, he's conceding Florida to the Republicans for the next 400 years. Finally, something I can agree with him on something.

[basil]

Not being a Floridian, and never reading anything by this guy before this, I was laughing myself silly, I loved every word!

Way to go, Florida!

[AzaleaCity5691]

There is one, and I repeat, one Democrat in the State of Florida who has a chance of having winning anything statewide, and that's Butterworth, and even he only has a few more cycles to do anything

[Coop]

Concerning his style, this author seems to have a fascination with death. Every other analogy. But considering the subject perhaps it's appropriate. LOL

[goldstategop]

If we can say buh bye to Bill Nelson next year, the Democrats' rout in Floriduh will be complete!

(Denny Crane: "Sometimes you can only look for answers from God and failing that... and Fox News".)

[Popman]

Daniel Ruth: He has a morning talk show every sat on 970 WFLA besides writing for the Tampa Tribune.

Ruth claims to be non partisan, but he's really a democrat hack, a funny one. He is also pretty sharp though.

I do think Ruth is cutting Jim Davis off a little early. He has good name recognition in the Tampa area and is an ole style democrat, not a loony liberal left winger.

He could give Crist a run for his money, if the democrats had any.

Davis is a far better candidate than McBride ever thought about being, He got 40 % of the vote

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Since he became Attorney General in 1986, Bob Butterworth has always had one goal in mind: Promote Bob Butterworth. Everything he has done as Attorney General has been calculated to give him maximum exposure on television and in the print media. I have never trusted him. He too obviously a media whore.

[AzaleaCity5691]

What Attorney General doesn't do that though?

Or for that matter, what D.A doesn't do that?. In general, being an attorney means you're an attention whore, it's what you get paid for, because you've got to be able to convince a skeptical jury that you're side's right and the other side is wrong.

Plus, I kind of have a soft-spot for him because he defended the Electric Chair for a long damn time. (I can't remember what position he took on the changeover referedum, I thought he was against, could be wrong)

And personally, I hate lethal injection, I think it is too soft a punishment, especially when you're dealing with the likes of Ted Bundies

Thats why our D.A is so popular right now, he's the first D.A in a long time who doesn't seek out headlines. He's had high profile cases, but he's never used these for self-promotion.

[jocon307]

"[T]here hasn't been this much delusion assembled under one roof since Lyndon LaRouche last dined alone."

LOL! pretty funny.

[Sonny M]

I was given the impression that since Bob Butterworths failed attempt at winning a state senate seat, he had given up politics and was head of some kind of law school and totally done.

I do know that alot of democratic donors loathe him (or blame him, or are nuts and think he was part of a conspiracy) for not doing enough to help Al Gore in 2000.

Either way, he can't raise any money and he has supposedly gone bitter.