1. the person who had the most to gain from her death was the only person to have heard her utter the "don't want to live" statement.
I don't know what "gain" there was for MS, I understand all settlement monies for Terry's care were long gone. I honestly don't know if my wife discusses her wishes with others. Are we now going to assume that anything we discuss with our spouses must now be discussed with others? How many folks are sufficient to meet this hurdle you are trying to raise, I need to create a list to be sure we are covered.
2. There was no written declaration of her wish, and we all doubted that she'd have wanted to be dehydrated to death.
What method do you supposed she wanted? We are all going to die and in most cases there will be a period of pain and suffering involved. Since you can ESP these things out what method would you choose for Terry? 30 more years away from heaven, out existing her parents, then a death by colon cancer after many surgeries maybe? Since she was under medical care and the government does not permit a painless way to be implemented, unless you are a murderer, what other options were there to satisfy her wishes?
4. the parents offered to care for her themselves - so why not let them ? What did the husband lose by it ? Why didn't he just get a divorce and marry the woman he'd lived with for 10 years ?
This sounds like you agree that if MS did not care about Terry he could have easily done just what you say. The only reason I can imagine he did go through this was to honor her wishes as I would expect my wife to do for me. It sure would have been much easier to just walk away. I only pray that I can show this same strength to meet my wife's wishes if heaven forbid something like this happens in our family.
I suppose if my wife started living with another man, that very same day I would be speaking with my lawyer initiating divorce proceedings and changing all my legal documents.
See my post # 64.
My grandmother died of cancer, very painfully, some years ago. We honored her decision to voluntarily stop eating (she wasn't able to keep much down in any case) but she did keep drinking fluids. Would I have ever denied her fluids by court order, as this cabal did ? Never.
I suggest that any who have strong wishes on this subject, or who care what their end might entail, draft a living will. Then there is far less ambiguity than existed in the Schiavo case.
The scenario I posed was that you were in a PVS and could not make any wishes known or legal decisions. If you would be willing to divorce in the presence of adultery (as would I), would you want the adulterer making life and death decisions for you ? Probably not.