[SoDak]

I have a tree full of squirrels that my neighbor feeds and I've been plotting for 2 years on how to arrange for all four to have an unfortunate misadventure. I don't want to eat them, I just want them gone.

[andyk]

I had a friend in Denver who had a similar problem. She used a pellet gun until a neighbor complained and called the police. When the police showed up, she explained that the squirrels were a nuisance, and was partially trying to make sure they stayed away from her young daughter.

The police were super cool. They told her that she couldn't shoot them with the pellet gun, but that a blowgun would be just fine! I picked her up some really spiffy darts at the next gun show...

[Oberon]

A little rat bait in a feeder would work wonders, most likely.

Hypothetically speaking, of course.