MARK STEYN: Outsourcing to Ouagadougou

'DJ Attacks Live8 Line-Up As 'Too White,'" ran the headline in Britain's Independent On Sunday. No good turn goes unpunished, and the trouble with all the good turns lined up for the Rock Against Bush mega-bash at the G8 summit in Scotland is that they're overwhelmingly of the Caucasian persuasion. That's the crux of the "row" that "broke out" over the weekend between Bob Geldof, Knight Commander of the Order of the British Empire, and Andy Kershaw, Jockey of the Discs at the British Broadcasting Corporation.

"If we are going to change the West's perception of Africa, events like this are the perfect opportunity to do something for Africa's self-esteem," said Kershaw. "But the choice of artists for the Live8 concerts will simply reinforce the global perception of Africa's inferiority." And when elderly 80s rockers like Midge Ure give you an inferiority complex you know you've got a self-esteem problem.

In this epic clash between Sir Bob and DJ Andy, one recalls Henry Kissinger's observation on the Iran/Iraq war: it's a shame they both can't lose.

I've always had a certain regard for Bob Geldof, and it's disappointing to see him lending his name to a feeble bit of poseur politics chiefly aimed at certain Western leaders who are entirely blameless for Africa's current woes and severely constrained in their ability to do anything to alleviate them, at least within the acceptable bounds of transnational political discourse. So I reckon Live8 is a dud, with or without Midge Ure, Pat Boone and Little Jimmy Osmond.

On the other hand, I've always quite liked those BBC radio shows where Andy Kershaw takes a tape recorder to Niger or Mali or some such and comes back with the latest groovy sounds. But come on, man, what a lame-o complaint. Given that you and Bob and the "Make Poverty History" group and all the rest are as one in your indestructible conviction that Africa's such a hopeless case it needs to be put on an ever more lavish drip feed of western "aid" in perpetuity, it's surely a bit late in the day to begin raising self-esteem issues.

I'd have low self-esteem if I'd been taken on by Western do-gooders as a permanent poster child for the world's irredeemable losers.

Bob and Andy agree that paternalism and condescension are the only ways to deal with Africa, they're just quibbling over the particular form of condescension. After all, Kershaw's suggested remedy for avoiding the "reinforcement" of "global perceptions" about Africa would surely reinforce the oldest stereotype of all – that say what you like about these darkies but they've got the most marvelous sense of rhythm.

The point is we all know Africa can produce wild, vibrant, exciting jungle rhythms. What's unclear is whether it can produce anything boring, humdrum and routine. Accountancy firms, for example. I mentioned in a column a few weeks ago the extraordinary number of US tax returns that are now prepared by accountants in India. Small hospitals in America have their patients' CAT scans analyzed overnight by radiologists in India. These and a thousand other niche businesses were not facilitated by government leaders meeting at international summits. That said, government leaders did not actively obstruct their creation and growth, as governments do all over the Dark Continent.

IT'S HARDLY news that Western pop stars are so deeply concerned about Africa that they're willing to climb into wacky gear and caterwaul geriatric rock hits in a stadium for a couple of hours every decade. But would they be prepared to outsource the book-keeping for their music publishing to a guy in Ouagadougou or Niamey? That's tougher than another spasm of feel-good agitprop aimed at that brave band of guilt-ridden Western liberals who got such a frisson out of wasting their money on the tsunami appeal they're itching to waste a ton more. (One quarter of all the tsunami aid sent to Sri Lanka has been sitting on the dock at Colombo since January, unclaimed and/or unprocessed. Maybe Sir Bob could do "Sitting on the Dock of the Bay" for his next charity single.)

As long as Western progressives are divided into those who wish to keep Africa in a backward subsistence agriculture economy and those who wish to keep Africa in a backward subsistence agriculture economy but if the rude field hands break into something catchy enough when Andy Kershaw's passing they'll be in with a shot as the warm-up to Bananarama at the next all-star charity gala, the do-gooders will have no useful contribution to make to Africa's future.

According to the World Bank's "Doing Business" report, in Canada (which, believe me, is no paradise for buccaneering capitalists) it takes two days to incorporate a company; in Mozambique, it takes 153 days. And Mozambique's company law has been unchanged since 1888. In the midst of the unending demands that Bush do this, Blair do that, do more, do it now, would it be unreasonable to suggest that, after 117 years, the government of Mozambique might also be obligated to do something about its regulatory regime?

Meanwhile, next door in Zimbabwe, Robert Mugabe's government is being given hundreds of thousands of tons of emergency supplies from the UN's World Food Programme. At the press conference, James Morris, head of the WFP, was at pains to emphasize that the famine was all due to drought and Aids, and certainly nothing to do with Mr. Mugabe's stewardship of the economy.

Some of us remember that during the 2002 G8 summit, also devoted to Africa, Zimbabwe's government ordered commercial farmers to cease all operations. But still neither the UN nor his fellow African leaders will hear a word against Mr. Mugabe, no matter how many people his kleptocracy starves.

The issue in Africa in every one of its crises, from economic liberty to Aids, is government – a style of government that makes prosperity and civil society all but impossible. Until the do-gooders get serious about that, their efforts will remain a silly distraction.

But, if you want some black music to cheer up the silly distraction, I recommend the lyrics of Andy Razaf, nephew of Queen Ranavalona III of Madagascar. If they ever clean up their kleptocratic act, "Ain't Misbehavin'" would make a great group anthem for Africa's heads of state. Until then, more than a few of their hapless peoples must wonder, "What Did I Do To Be So Black And Blue?"

It's hard to say that Africa has, in general, shown much progress since the end of colonialism, or white rule in Zimbabwe and South Africa.

Certainly not in Zimbabwe. In many countries, it's still a tribal thing and not a nation thing. Look at what happened in Rwanda.

Africa has the potential to be one of the richest continents, but they continue lag far behind the rest of the world.

They're not trying.

I'm not sure what the right places would be.

The airport.

An air-conditioned taxi to where one is staying.

Actually I work with a small NGO and we started an
orphanage and run a child-sponsorship program in Burkina Faso.

"Africa has the potential to be one of the richest continents, but they continue lag far behind the rest of the world."

- Anthropologists say that the human race first originated in Africa and migrated outward. If so, this means that the continent of Africa should have had a head start when it comes to the development of civilization.
It's therefore strange that after decades of scouring the continent, no one has ever stumbled across the remains of an older, richer civilization such as existed in China, South America, the Roman Empire or Egypt.
It's been grass huts, tribal customs and tom tom drums from the beginning. It's history is littered with Mugabe and Jesse Jackson type wannabes - and that just about explains it's perpetual inability to progress.

That's not completely accurate. In northern Africa, the Egyptians built quite a civilization.

But in what we think of as "black africa" it just never worked out.

But any cultural differences that might have made the difference have had an adequate time to disappear. Most of the countries are extremely poor because the few in power divert all the wealth. And elections there are a joke, even in formerly great Egypt. The incumbents always win. Fancy that.

If we are going to change the West's perception of Africa, events like this are the perfect opportunity to do something for Africa's self-esteem," said Kershaw. "But the choice of artists for the Live8 concerts will simply reinforce the global perception of Africa's inferiority."

I have never read anything so condescending and demeaning in my entire life. It makes me embarressed to be a white person.

It's a subtle distinction and it is so steeped in fears of being called a racist for anything that is said on the subject that it's almost literally a minefield.

The fact most certainly is that Africa is inferior to every other continent. But to state that out loud subjects one to allegations of racism.

Best I can tell, race has nothing to do with it, given who holds positions of power within our own government.

But you just can't say that Africa is a pathetic dump, largely of their own doing without paying too high of a price.

They're not trying.

Oh, but they certainly are: to get into refugee quota for some prosperous Western country, and when they can't, just to obtain a place among bullsh*t "boat people" aiming at the same destination.

Then, the ancient marble squares of Italy get all pissed over acquiring a bizarre yellowish hue... or is it just centuries old patina?

"If we are going to change the West's perception of Africa, events like this are the perfect opportunity to do something for Africa's self-esteem,"

Is it just me, or is this a complete non-sequiter? Putting aside the complete idiocy of worrying about a continent's self-esteem, how does said self-esteem affect someone else's perception?

Oh wait. I see. I'm being too literal. It's only their intentions that count, not whether they're actually making any sense.

never mind.

I'd have low self-esteem if I'd been taken on by Western do-gooders as a permanent poster child for the world's irredeemable losers.

This is one of Steyn's best articles, and THAT's saying a LOT, because this man is such a genius! Thanks for the ping, Pokey!

I have never read anything so condescending and demeaning in my entire life. It makes me embarressed to be a white person.

You should do what I do: Measure yourself by your self, not by your race.

There are WAY too many terrible people in all races for anyone to assume responsibility for them because they happen share that race.

I'm only embarrassed when I or someone who I've placed my trust in does something embarassing. Those self-adulating jerks are the ones who should be embarassed for themselves. Since it appears that they aren't, it gives a good indication of their (lack of)intelligence.

India's 20th century leadership had a noted distain for capitalism. This attitude, combined with corruption and the caste system doomed them to third world status.

But they've smartened up, just like the Chineese, by empracing regulatory reform and encouraging free market capitalism.

It's not that their accounting is so much better, it's that they currently have the bussiness climate which allows them to perform the bussiness at a price so low it makes that outsourcing worthwhile for their customers.

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