[Natural Law]

Good thing Pvt. Natural Law wasn't on duty. I would have probably wiped my butt with it.

[beef]

"I would have probably wiped my butt with it."

There are 6666 verses in the Koran. If you printed 1 verse per sheet, you could conceivably squeeze it onto 6 extra large rolls of toilet paper. You could probably even get Arabic and English translation on there. Sounds like a moneymaker to me.