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Aliska, this becomes a perfect opportunity to a local church to come to potentially help. If you are a Christian, there surely are resources available. This is how things were done before the last century and how, I believe, God knows we are helping another from the heart (paying taxes for welfare, for instance, is not from the heart because it is required).

I would suggest finding other places to cut expenses, too, such as perhaps having a roommate, taking public transportation, buying a less expensive car, etc. You may well qualify for food stamps, so you might be able to use that to offset expenses. Also, stop any bad habit in you life, get more exercise, eat more healthy, and take appropriate vitamin-type supplements.

These are just a few approaches to counter the current problematic situation.

I am sorry about the problems you are having. But know there are always options and there is always hope.

That was during a real downer period in my life. My situation is very abnormal, have always had ups and downs, but I've always gotten by somehow without relying on churches, and the only government help I've taken for years is for my mental health care which is paid by the county or I wouldn't get treatment, just prescriptions from regular doctors. My family has been a tremendous help, especially my dear, late father on whom I was a terrible burden. There are people out there who need help far more than I.

I had to get out of my house during one terrible period, and spend nights in motels and at neighbors for two or three weeks. I asked my deacon what the church would have done to help me. I would have felt safest sleeping in a church pew. He said they would have sent me to a shelter. I resented it for awhile. Hispanics are taken by the church all the time, but I couldn't be and being female makes a difference. I have made peace with that now, too. Life isn't fair, and in my tribulations I've been able to be thankful for simple little things like cutting some old beautiful antique roses from a vacant lot that have the most heavenly smell. Technically I suppose I stole them. I missed them when they were in their prime this year.

Finances are more on an even keel now; I do have catastrophic health insurance which my son finally found for me. I am able to buy a few things I want but don't really need and also sometimes help my other family members, so it isn't that bad NOW, especially since I took early regular social security which is not nearly as much as some people get. That helps a lot.

I appreciate your sentiments and will consider your advice. There is one vice I have that giving it up could improve things to some extent. I was able to walk regularly until my last anxiety/depression hit with a vengeance. It made me very physically weak. Some days are pretty good; others I'm not up to doing much. I can never predict in advance how things are going to be. It was that way when I worked, which is one of the reasons I was never able to get ahead. I always got hit with a bad depression again.

I have the intelligence to have done almost anything with my life; I scored in the top 10 percent of all entering freshmen at SUI. After my first breakdown, everything changed and I've just muddled through.

I've just had to learn to live with it. Life doesn't seem so bad now as I learned to fall back on myself and my faith and don't have the expectations others have. There are many broken dreams, but I've made peace about those. I do react when others get knocked down because I identify with their struggles.

There is one thing that still kind of annoys me and that is some people working for the government. I don't resent welfare people like I once did. I blow it off. There are people who work for the government in the higher GS jobs, their spouse works for the government, they already have early military pensions after having served 20 years, and when they retire they can have all that and take a consultant job at very high pay. I resent them more than welfare people, and that is wrong on my part.