Posted on 06/01/2005 10:34:25 AM PDT by quidnunc
Vengeance is mine, saith the Sith, whith thoundth like Violet Elizabeth Bott. No such luck. Instead, it’s George Lucas, with what he insists is the final film in the Star Wars sextet. My guess is the first film in the new Star Wars septet will be opening circa 2008. Anyway, Revenge of the Sith is, so Lucas assures us, a ‘tragedy’. It might have been wise to have stationed an announcer at every movie house to announce this fact over the PA system since it eluded the audience I saw it with last weekend. When the Sith hits the fan, the fan bursts out laughing. Oh, to be sure, they were diverted by the opening dogfight and Obi-Wan Kenobi riding a wild four-legged space beast to hunt down General Grievous. But they were howling with laughter through all the so-called ‘tragic’ elements. When Senator-Queen Padmé (Natalie Portman) reveals that she’s pregnant, her secret husband Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen) reacts with an eerie glassy-eyed expression as if he’s hypnotised himself trying to remember the next line. Eventually, Lucas prompts him and he utters the words, ‘I’ll have the club sandwich.’ No, wait. That’s just what it sounds like. He actually says: ‘You’re so … beautiful.’
‘It’s only because I’m so in love,’ says Padmé tonelessly, like a spy giving the reply password.
‘No,’ says Anakin. ‘I’m so in love. With you,’ he adds helpfully, just in case Padmé figures it’s the hot-looking Wookie strolling by in the background.
At this, my fellow theatergoers exploded with guffaws of derision. May the farce be with you! The final descent of Ian McDiarmid’s Chancellor Palpatine into Darth Hammitup brought on more laffs, as did the moment when Anakin attempts to talk Padmé into joining him over on the Dark Side: ‘Together you and I can rule the galaxy,’ he snarls. Well, tries to snarl.
‘Obi-Wan was right. You’ve changed,’ says Princess Padmé. ‘I don’t know you any more.’ He used to look like Princess Di flashing those big eyes from under his hair. But suddenly he looks like Princess Di with too much kohl and in a peevish mood. What can this mean?
-snip-
I know I'm too jaded, but I just can no longer even imagine feeling respect for any actor.
The only problem with both "The Aviator" and "Titanic" is that the directors unaccountably chose to cast a girl as the male romantic lead.
Jimmy Smits? Jimmy freakin' SMITS is in this?
Please tell me you're joking.
Perhaps that is why the acting is so wooden.
I suspect that rabid fans of Star Wars would still love it just as much if the dialog were omitted entirely.
Why? (I don't understand why the presence of an actor would be surprising.)
Funny, I found the last half of the film moving and tragic, even though I knew how it was going to turn out for decades (Obi Wan's pain at Anakin's betrayal near the end was quite poignant). But then, I'm a Star Wars geek to the core.
It was so stupid I had to run right home and watch the original "Star Wars" to get the Sith taste out of my mouth.
"Well, we'll never have to see Hayden Christensen in a movie again."
He was actually quite good as a smarmy, insecure reporter in Shattered Glass.
I was blown away by his acting in "What's eating Gilbert Grape?". He was the best actor on the screen in that one. I have been disappointed in every movie that I seen him in since. I have not seen "Aviator", but I will check it out.
That's the shame of it. In the "tragic" scene where Anakin is reborn as Lord Vader all I could think was, look at that dork in the oversized Vader helmet. Then when he screams NOOOOOOOOO! . . . I freakin' lost it!
"No one goes to Star Wars films expecting high art, and if they do, they deserve our pity and derision."
True-- but I believe the first one actually rises to the level of an art film in certain ways. In it's deep originality. Knowledge of genres and archetypes. Methods of revealing characters and storyline.
Not to say it wasn't flawed, it was, but I think Lucas created something very, very special with the first one-- it has a soul that none of the others has.
Because Victor Sifuentes is paid very well by the hour to do better things than argue with Hayden Christiansen.
At least, you'd think. ;)
Ah, thanks! I thought there might be some political issue or something.
We did the same! Our comment after Anakin turns to the Dark Side was... "That was easy!" Wouldn't you have thought the decision would have been much more difficult?
Like to see Lucas squeeze in 3 episodes of the Siths kicking ass all over the Galaxy.
Really? I'll have to catch that film (been meaning too, anyway). I thought his performance in "Titanic" was downright embarrassing to watch, and I could NOT understand the screaming teenybopper fan cohorts he got from that flick.
Reminds me of what they said about Chris Atkins in "Blue Lagoon"...."So why did Brooke Shields go onscreen with someone prettier than her?"
(Did I just date myself?)
I thought it was cool. Took my 10-yr-old to see it twice. I haven't seen a movie more than once in the theater since 1977 (yup, Episode IV, seven times).
It is campy fun. Yes the acting mostly reeked. However, I was not disappointed in the injuries inflicted on Anakin. I was expecting something less, for some reason. Dang, lost both legs and an arm, then cathes on fire. Seemed pretty nasty to me (as it should have been). Also, just loved the scene when the helmet got snapped on... the deep, drawn breath... The wife, kid & I high-fived, chuckled, and said, "Yes!". It was perfect. Then the icing on the cake: hearing James Earl Jones voice. This one is right up there with IV & V, IMO. Regards, HW
Loved it. The battle scenes were eye candy, and Yoda vs. Sidious was pretty good, too.
Heheheh. The only thing lacking after he got that helmet on was, "Now, anyone have a Marlboro?"
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