You see, I came from a time when the community could be counted on to back up the parents. We were on the same page so to speak. Neighbors reported misbehaviour to parents without being cussed out by the parents, the police could be relied upon to weed out the criminals, the courts prosecuted with regard to victims and not to the perps, schools were in alliance with the parents and vice versa. There wasn't any confusion... right was right and wrong was wrong. Most people knew the difference.
Parents are at a loss to find any support in society thanks to people who seem to feel our country need not subscribe to a moral standard. Taking a quick look around, the result of this thinking is quite apparent. People are appalled at the crimes young children are committing to just take one small example.
For ages those "religious" rules as you call them have been the standard for moral behaviour acceptable to an advanced society. Without them, we are just not as good as we once were and have become quite preoccupied with the basest behaviour we can muster.
I think you are giving parents are giving parents too much credit, you assume they are victims rather than part of the problem. The reality is many people have children for a number of reasons: because they are cute, because they want to have mini version of themselves running around, or because it is part of the societal norm. What many do not realize it takes A LOT of time and effort to raise that child to be productive member of society, and they are simply not equiped for the job. They may not want to devote time to the effort, may not know they have to, or simply not mature enough themselves to know what they are doing.
There is support out there for parents that know where to look. The schools are overburdened and overrun by incompetent or indifferent teachers and administrators, but good schools and school districts do exist, as do great and caring neighborhoods. The church is also a great community resource, and should be relied upon more.
So you see, I sympathesize with your argument in this post, but disagree on the assignment of blame, and your solution. The first and last line of defense is in the home, and parents have ample resources, especially the opportunity to instill a strong sense of right and wrong. A failure to do so is nobody's fault but their own.