[isthisnickcool]

(SCENE ONE)

BOY: It's only a flesh wound!

AP REPORTER: It is not! That shotgun pellet has taken off both your arms you dumb little ba$tard!:

(SCENE THREE)

MAN PULLING CART: "Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead!"

AP REPORTER WITH YOUNG BOY OVER SHOULDER: "This ones dead!"

BOY: "I am not!"

AP REPORTER: "Are too!"

ANNOUNCER: "We wanted to sack the AP reporter in scenes one and three but that's not allowed so he has been reported to news anchor at CBS".

[Dog Gone]

I'm tempted to ask the admin moderator to change the thread title to reflect reality, but I think leaving it up as an example of American reporting at its finest also has a strong argument.