"Empty bottles of vodka littered the yard "
Maybe that's why he wanted to get rid of them?
Like, dude...whatever happened to locking yourself in the bathroom and screaming?
Sheesh, always worked for me...also, there's always the "cleaning the firearms" on the kitchen table.
Plus, "hey guys, it's time to sharpen the machete collection"...not to mention letting a few bug bombs go off...heck, you could even declare "It's time to watch "Queer eye for the House Guest Guys"...