[Chappaquiddick Crawdad]

"The whole point is coming out and making love to your best friend."

So... his right hand is his best friend? I guess that explains most of it.

[Mr. Blonde]

As Woody Allen says, "Don't knock masturbation it's sex with someone I love."

[Vigilanteman]

Guy goes into his doctor. Says "Doc, all I can think about is sex, all day everyday. I make love to my wife once or twice a day, that's all she can stand. But it's not enough for me."

Doc asks "Have you considered a mistress or a girlfriend? It might take the pressure off your wife."

Guys says, I have several of each, and I make love to them once or twice a day, everyday. That's all they can stand too!"

Doc says "Man, that sounds like a really serious problem. Maybe you need to take it in hand."

Guy says "No use. I've tried that too. Once or twice a day, everyday!"