LOL! As if I could've gotten away with it. ;) But, seriously, I have very little interest in nudie pics or flicks when I'm in a relationship. It actually surprises me because I can be quite content with them when I'm not. It's like night & day for me, but others are different, and for different reasons, as I'm sure you know.
As for the marriage, I always knew what the ultimate problem was but there was nothing I could really do about it, although I didn't recognize the futility of it all until afterward. She was convinced that I never 'got over' my first, and that she was just a placeholder until I went back or truly moved on. That was untrue, but it was very true in her head and governed all her actions in this regard. What was true, however, is that I never felt the same burning passion as I did with the first, so perhaps in some small way there was truth to it after all.
Whatever the case may be, and I very rarely revisit these things in my mind's landscape, we were certainly not meant to be. Once in a long while I can still feel that same fire about the first, but the other just leaves me totally cold. BTW, there will never be a third!
Smart man...........too bad though. You sound reasonable and they're (obviously) hard to find. Stay happy in your solitude. I know others who are.