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Zero Stars For Star Wars VI (Spoiler Alert)
cbsnews.com ^ | May 16, 2005 | John Podhoretz.

Posted on 05/16/2005 1:18:49 PM PDT by Destro

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To: Destro
Keeping in mind that Anakin/Vader, from the very beginning, was Lucas's vision of a masculine type once abundant in this country that his hippy, leftist values obviously led him to disdain--resolute, ruthless in battle, determined in war, contemptuous of what he saw as the enemies of the society he wished to maintain--I'm really looking forward to this movie.

In the context of the times (1970's), Anakin/Vader was the ultimate "Hard Hat"--and the perfect metaphor for the leader of the "silent majority," a la Richard Nixon, that represented the forceful (and, yes, sometimes angry) backlash against the so-called "Counterculture" (who were always a tiny minority made up of malcontents, mindless screamers, incipient terrorists, and other assorted scum) and their enthusiastic boosters in the mainstream liberal media.

Many of us understood this immediately, and instinctively, back in 1977 when that first massive Star Destroyer--spitting laser bolts and brooking no further argument--filled the screen and the magic commenced; that's why a good many of us rooted for the Stormtroopers. Underneath those white helmets, many of us accurately speculated, lurked the ghost of the kid down the street who'd done his duty in Vietnam and returned to be spit on by leftists; and those doing the spitting, we again accurately surmised, where the "heroes" of the "Rebellion": Lucas didn't fool us from the git-go. I, for one, groaned while others in the theater cheered when the first Death Star exploded in Episode IV. I didn't fully understand why, at the time. I do now.

But neither did we turn away from that magic; we just took the side that Lucas disdained in his epic, and have been cheering it ever since. This is the real reason Episode V, The Empire Strikes Back, was and remains the most popular film in the franchise to date. Art has a funny way of backfiring on its creators that way when the tale told is compelling and powerful, but the vision behind it is blurred.

Anyway, enough of this high falutin' talk; suffice it to say that I was the only kid in my middle school who went to his 1978 Halloween Party fitted out as an Imperial Stormtrooper--and that outfit got the loudest cheers and most intense attention among any of my peers, particularly from the girls I was keen to impress at the time...

Long Live the Empire.

261 posted on 05/17/2005 3:20:40 AM PDT by A Jovial Cad ("A man's character is his fate." - Heraclitus)
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To: A Jovial Cad
I was very young at the time and I saw the Stormtroopers as robots not people - I guess I got it right because they were clones - non individuals. Soviet like.

The kid from the small town wanting to go to the military was Luke Skywalker - who was not a hippie nor was Han Solo a hippie nor was Obi Wan who kicked ass. The Jedis in fact are much like the Templar Knight warrior monks.

It is kind of funny to read your statement because it shows you have no conception of what it is to be in the spirit of the Founding Fathers who wanted a small standing army and hated militarisim like they found in their Hessian enemies.

What you are is in fact a Statist and what you mistake as patriotisim is in fact Statisim. That is not being a Conservative in the tradition of the Founding Fathers.

You need to repent and convert.

262 posted on 05/17/2005 6:16:40 AM PDT by Destro (Know your enemy! Help fight Islamic terrorism by visiting johnathangaltfilms.com and jihadwatch.org)
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To: Destro
But the Darth Vader we see at the end of Revenge of the Sith hasn't been seduced. He's been tricked. He's not a villain. He's a schmuck.

duh...watch Vaders death scene in Return of the Jedi and he realizes it himself

263 posted on 05/17/2005 6:44:31 AM PDT by stuck_in_new_orleans
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To: Destro

That was the worst remake ever. Mark Wahlberg in the role Charlton Heston immortalized. Pathetic. The original was spectacular and who could forget Heston's famed "Get your hands off me you damned, dirty ape."

Heston was and is a real actor. Wahlberg is just a wanna-be. The only good movie he did was "The Italian Job." Anyone else notice how he always seems out of breath in all his movies?


264 posted on 05/17/2005 7:17:42 AM PDT by Alcibiades ("First come smiles, then lies. Last is gunfire"--Roland Deschain)
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To: SoCal Pubbie

You have to be kidding Mars Attacks was one of the funniest movies ever. Any movie which takes Sarah Jessica Parker's head and puts it on a chihuahua and vice versa CAN'T be bad.


265 posted on 05/17/2005 7:17:47 AM PDT by justshutupandtakeit (Public Enemy #1, the RATmedia.)
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To: Stopislamnow
> At least it's almost over

Only until George
gets feeling lonely or poor.
Then he will be back

to really finish --
episodes seven thru nine . . .
Just imagine those!

266 posted on 05/17/2005 7:44:02 AM PDT by theFIRMbss
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To: justshutupandtakeit
Since SJP looks like a horse, putting her noggin on an equine body would have been more appropriate. The flick couldn't even get that right. It was an abomination.
267 posted on 05/17/2005 7:53:50 AM PDT by SoCal Pubbie
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To: Destro
The difference is, there was no need for another Planet of the Apes and I knew it would suck from the get go. Tim Burton showed with Mars Attacks! that sci fi was not his thing. Fantasy is.

When word that Mars Attacks! was in the pipeline, it was exciting. There had not been a good, old fashioned alien invasion movie since the remake of Invaders From Mars in the eighties. Here it was, the icon of all the cheesy sci fi cliches from my youth being made real, up there on the silver screen. The classic giant brained headed Martians landing in bubble topped flying saucers, burning a swath across the Earth, kidnapping nubile Earth women, swatting Earthly armies, unleashing giant insects on the helpless population. Then they wildly impossible recovery and counterattack carrying tanks and troops on huge Saturn V type rockets to Mars!

Then it came, dumped like a steaming turd onto theaters everywhere, this pathetic Dr. Strangelove wannabe. Oh how horrid this turkey was! Even Independence Day was more watchable.

It is my secret dream to become a movie producer. One flick I would push for is a proper version of Mars Attacks, played in the spirit of Earth Versus the Flying Saucers or War of the Worlds, set not in some bizarre day glo mixture of the sixties and the present day but firmly in 1962. I would use actual clips of JFK, and mix them with an actor, to create a press conference discussing the threat, and proper military uniforms and equipment of the day. It would be great. Too bad it will never get made.
268 posted on 05/17/2005 8:14:15 AM PDT by SoCal Pubbie
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To: SoCal Pubbie

What could be funnier than a herd of flaming cows?


269 posted on 05/17/2005 9:19:41 AM PDT by justshutupandtakeit (Public Enemy #1, the RATmedia.)
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To: Destro
Oh, for cryin' friggin out loud, it was just a movie after all.

And as for that bit about "mistaking" patriotism for statism, I need no lectures in patriotism from a keyboard coward such as yourself, who probably never served a day in uniform in his pathetic, pasty-faced life.

270 posted on 05/17/2005 10:05:34 AM PDT by A Jovial Cad ("A man's character is his fate." - Heraclitus)
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To: A Jovial Cad

and Hitler was a war hero.


271 posted on 05/17/2005 10:14:18 AM PDT by Destro (Know your enemy! Help fight Islamic terrorism by visiting johnathangaltfilms.com and jihadwatch.org)
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To: Destro

If scripts are not Lucas' strong point, then I guess it showed in THX-1138.

Believe it or not, I really did like that movie.


272 posted on 05/17/2005 10:35:36 AM PDT by omni-scientist
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To: A Jovial Cad
This is the real reason Episode V, The Empire Strikes Back, was and remains the most popular film in the franchise to date.

It also didn't hurt that Lucas got others to write and direct it. :-)
273 posted on 05/17/2005 3:44:12 PM PDT by Borges
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To: JennysCool

"much more humorless, universe entirely."

well, the subtle humor has been replaced by fart/burp humor and slapstick visual pieces.


274 posted on 05/17/2005 5:55:38 PM PDT by WoofDog123
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To: Sir Gawain

"There is no watering down of Vader."

This is fair...the issue IMHO is that lucas has grossly mishandled the first half of vaders story, from the casting of that kid onward, the petulant teenage after that, useless dialogue and acting, etc.

It may be the most spectacular dumbing down of one of the most successful franchises in movie history.


275 posted on 05/17/2005 6:01:17 PM PDT by WoofDog123
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To: eyespysomething

"it just didn't work out like everyone (in the fictional Star Wars world) thought it would. "

If you are referring to gross miscasting and mis-writing for those miscast to play anakin, then I agree wholeheartedly.


276 posted on 05/17/2005 6:02:48 PM PDT by WoofDog123
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To: Ragnorak

"Lucas Arts video games have more plot and better dialog than his second trilogy."

Maybe they plot out the video games first and then base the movie around those games?


277 posted on 05/17/2005 6:04:30 PM PDT by WoofDog123
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To: Cloud William

"There's something else missing from the prequels, too: *humor*. The Original Trilogy had Han Solo - a non-boring, non-tedious, non-Jedi character. His charm and humor helped balance out the heavy, serious Jedi component"

Do you meant ADULT-oriented humor? The prequels have lots of humor - fart humor, jar jar antic humor, slapstick visuals humor, etc. If you have the mind of a 10 year old it is great.


278 posted on 05/17/2005 6:13:37 PM PDT by WoofDog123
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To: Libertarian444

I just watched the Triumph vs. Star Wars nerds again... that has got to be one of the funniest things I've ever seen. Any word on whether he'll be back for this flick?


279 posted on 05/17/2005 8:02:56 PM PDT by infidel29 ("It is only the warlike power of a civilized people that can give peace to the world."- T. Roosevelt)
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To: WoofDog123
It [Episodes I-III] may be the most spectacular dumbing down of one of the most successful franchises in movie history.

Amen.

280 posted on 05/17/2005 10:27:14 PM PDT by Ronzo (GOD created the universe to keep scientists fully employed...)
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