No shame, no judgements, and everyone sexually active at every age. They believe that abstinence is wrong because it is a denial of sexual desires.
It is quite institutionalized. Look at these questions and responses from a CHILDREN'S hospital:
http://www.teenhealthfx.com/answers/Sexuality/subcategory.php?subsection=47
Note the question about a pierced clitoris.
Also:
http://www.teenhealthfx.com/answers/Sexuality/3750.html
Dear 13-Year-Old Friend Has Unsafe Sex,
Were glad to hear youre concerned about your ex-friend, but unfortunately, there is nothing you can do to "make her stop" this behavior. We agree that she is very young to be having sex, and that unprotected sex can be very harmful to herself and her partners, but this is her choice, even if you feel its a bad one. Were not sure what you mean by being her "ex-friend," but if you two are still on speaking terms, what you can do is let her know that you are concerned about her. You can suggest that she at least try to practice safer sex and let her know you are there for her if she needs to talk. If you continue to be concerned, you can talk to a counselor or teacher at your school. But ultimately, you are not responsible for changing her behavior.
As for your questions about masturbation and sex outside marriage, there are many religions (including Christianity) that believe these things are sinful and are are laws (or beliefs) of the church (or religion). For more information on what Christians think about masturbation and premarital sex, you might try asking your priest or a family member if you feel comfortable doing so. Regardless, for what its worth, TeenHealthFX believes that expressing your sexuality, both with yourself and with partners, is a natural, healthy, beautiful part of life. Religion can play an important role in what we think about these issues, but ultimately, you will come to form your own set of beliefs about how sex fits into your life.
And:
http://www.teenhealthfx.com/answers/Sexuality/731.html
Dear Having To Wait 3 Years,
There is nothing wrong with your girlfriends hormones; she has made a personal choice. She sounds like a special person who has thought carefully about sex, and made a decision about what is best for her. Many young people feel pressured to have sex because they believe everybody else is "doing it". Everyone is different and each person has to decide what is right for him or her.
Whether you want to wait 3 years for this girl is a decision you have to make for yourself. Realize that it is possible to be physically intimate in a close, loving relationship with your girlfriend without having intercourse, like hugging and kissing. Remember, if you really do like her it wouldnt be fair to pressure her into something she is not comfortable doing.
TeenHealthFX is pleased to see that you recognize sex is a major responsibility. While you are anxious to have sex, you want to have it "safely". This shows you are taking the subject seriously. Way to go!
I'm against public schooling, so my reply assumes that no one has had enough cojones to do something about big-government, authoritarian schooling.
That said -- I am neither a fan of compulsory sex education, nor religious prayers or pledges in the public school day. School is for learning.
There is no reason why both sides of the subject cannot be presented in either a religion class, or a sex education class, and that these classes can be made into electives, which parents may opt out of, on behalf of their kids.
People want to make it so darn hard, because they want to push their agenda -- both right and left, both "Sex positive," and the abstinence movement. I say we instill kids with critical thinking, and let them learn to make positive and healthy decisions.