This is another non-sequiter, I suppose, but since you mentioned bowels....
I'm a substitute teacher, and today I went into a drama classroom only to find that someone had defecated in the back of the room.
I ping the rest of you only to share the good news about our future leaders. On the other hand, since it was a drama classroom, maybe they were just getting ready to live in Hollywood.
That's performance art, if you would only look at it correctly.
/snide
OMG! what grade was this???
Being a teacher is hard, but this is just beyond the pale.
We had a "poo poo bandit" when I was in college, in a girl's dorm {we were girls then and not offended by the term}. I kid you not. Someone left presents all over for months. I was in near hysteria with the comic aspects. Others were offended, deeply offended, especially the House Mother. We had House Mothers too.