" ... She says the wedding is not called off, just postponed."
Let me give a little advice:
1. To the Bride to be: If the thought of getting married to this guy causes you to flee your state, chances are he's not the right guy for you.
2. To the Groom to be: RUN!!!! as fast as you can!!!!
I agree with you, and I think the groom needs to forgive her and then forget she exists!