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It occurred to me after I wrote this comment

I would guess (and this is just a guess) she was confused about whether she wanted to get married and felt unable to stop the wedding. We may all see that it would have been so easy, but she did not. The stress of keeping these feelings submerged without talking to anyone about it must have finally gotten to her.

that I could elaborate slightly.

I happen to know two women younger than her but both out of college. To read about them on paper or speak with them, they appear to be successful, bright, intelligent and completely together. They're both right at the tops of their class. They both seem just like anyone you would want to have as your coworker/daughter/wife. (This happens in men, too, btw, and I think more frequently, but the two I know are women.) One of them is an acquaintance/friend, another is a somewhat-close friend of mine.

Here's the thing: They are book-smart and emotion stupid. In fact, I don't think they can deal with their emotions, failure, or anything that deviates in any way from what they think is mapped out for them. Control is key to them, and so long as they control their environments and their standards, they are fine.

But when they can't.....watch out!!!! If you get in their way or don't hew the line, they are going to come at you with a vengeance. If there's a problem, it's clearly because you are not as smart, hardworking or ethical as them, and you risk eclipse from their universe.

But, I have discovered (with the one I am somewhat close with, as much as they will indicate they wish to get rid of you and that you are a bother to them), they do not actually wish to get rid of you. They need you there to witness and validate their accomplishments. If they can show how much better they are than you in a field of your particular expertise, all the better. To accomplish this, they will step right over what they have said without so much as a thought and say something directly inconsistent.

I believe both of these two people are headed for a major crash down the road. They will at some point be in a situation where they may not be the smartest or brightest, they will not be in control, they will be bested by someone they don't consider as good or as hardworking as them. I truly fear for their safety when that happens.

The pressure we, and others, put on ourselves can have terrible peril, and lead to great narcissisim.

Fascinating observations. I've known of a few myself, and they're quite interesting as long as they're not TOO close.

I would disagree with you that the pressure of accomplishment in itself "leads" to the narcissism, and I have far less sympathy for them than you do. The only thing leading to the narcissism is love of the self.

I used to say the same thing, that "someday, there'll be a BIG crisis," and it'll all come to a head, but now I don''t think so (20+ years of observation). They seem to be very intuitive in terms of what they can get away with regarding whom, and just how far they can push. They avoid people and situations to begin with, that can't be easily controlled.