Ah, a visit from the "Ether Bunny"....
There are myriad Urban Legends in college and the military about a roommate who wakes up each morning with a headache and a sore butt.
In every story, the guy goes to see the doctor and is accused of homosexual activity. Of course the guy turns a camera on his bunk to find his bunkie drugging and buggering him during the night.
This is another incarnation of the 'Ether Bunny' myth.
Yer homo lies ain't gonna fly here, Lance.