Posted on 04/24/2005 4:40:26 PM PDT by traumer
As arguments rage over the issue of gay marriage, BBC News talks to people caught up in one of the United States' most divisive social battles.
Mary Li and Rebecca Kennedy were the first lesbian couple to get married in Oregon, in March 2004, but a shadow hung over them even as they exchanged vows.
Earlier this month - "after a year of living like a normal family" - the state's Supreme Court annulled their union and more than 3,000 others, in a case that sent a signal across the US.
The couple know they are on the front line of a political struggle, but it has not stopped them feeling the powerful emotional impact of the decision.
"I felt that as a lesbian I was never going to have the white dress, the walk up the aisle," said Li. "So when the chance came I seized it with both hands.
"But there is a great sadness that the day has been taken away."
Same-sex marriage is the most important civil rights issue of our time - Mary Li e your say
Two weeks before their wedding at a luxury hotel in Portland, the couple had been tipped off that their local county was about to start marrying gays and lesbians.
The move came hot on the heels of similar weddings in San Francisco, later halted by the state of California.
Sworn to secrecy, Li and Kennedy could not even tell their families in case the news leaked to opponents.
"We knew there were politics attached to it, but we certainly got married as a reflection of our love for each other," said Li.
Anti same-sex marriage rally Critics on the right fear traditional marriage is threatened
"Becky and I had already been engaged for two years, and when people ask me when I decided to marry - I say I had been waiting all my life."
"We were both emotionally preparing for the worst, but hoping for the best."
When the day came they found their wedding besieged by reporters, but the ceremony - led by former Supreme Court Justice Betty Roberts - was able to proceed.
Their joy was inevitably short-lived, Li said.
A coalition of groups challenged the decision and on 14 April 2005 the state Supreme Court nullified nearly 3,000 marriages, saying a county could not go against state matrimonial law.
Fight goes on
Gay and lesbian rights groups are fighting similar battles across the US.
But polling suggests that while many Americans are open to civil rights for gay couples, they still reserve "marriage" for male-female relationships.
It is like a patchwork of permissiveness and opposition - at some point you reach a critical mass Mary Li
The gay marriage map
Same-sex couples can legally marry in Massachusetts, but 37 other states and the federal government have approved laws or amendments barring the recognition of gay marriage.
President George W Bush has voiced support for a constitutional amendment outlawing same-sex marriage, and referred to the need to protect the institution of marriage in his State of the Union speech.
But for couples like Mary and Becky, the fight goes on.
Li said: "I am a mixed race person - and my parents married before the courts across America had struck down all the remaining barriers to mixed race couples. Today, no-one would deny mixed race couples the right to marry.
"Same sex marriage is the civil rights issue of our time.
"It is like a patchwork of permissiveness and opposition - at some point you reach a critical mass."
anyway...
I think their brains were "snatched away" long before they got "hitched"
They are letting them on the LPGA.
Ramrod? Hey you could hurt someone with that thing!
The BBC's headlines are now written by those guys at the naughty tabloids!
We all have to make choices....and sacrifices.
When a flood of sanity threatens, you can always count on the Justices of the Ninth Circuit to put their fingers in the dike. Somebody is getting called on the carpet for this.
I have nothing against the two guys in that picture, btw.
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
Before lesbians get married do they have to get a licker license?
Ping.
"When a flood of sanity threatens, you can always count on the Justices...to put their fingers in the dike?
Apt
"snatch"uraly.
Did you have something to do with this?
What in the hell kind of ping list are you guys on?
Earlier this month - "after a year of living like a normal family" - the state's Supreme Court annulled their union and more than 3,000 others, in a case that sent a signal across the US.
They knew it was going to happen and I really resent having my intelligence insulted. They did this as a political stunt and very little else.
"I felt that as a lesbian I was never going to have the white dress, the walk up the aisle,"
What? Come on, this happens all the time! And it has for years. They have a little faux ceremony, with the dresses, flowers, food, family, the whole deal. It's about them, not about some acknowledgement from some state bureaucratic office.
"So when the chance came I seized it with both hands.
Nope, if you had, you wouldn't be lesbian.
What is it about gay people that they are so desperate to have other people's approval?
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