...scientists are puzzled over the inexplicable behavior of either type of vehicle, citing long-term maintenance programs and warranties by manufacturing concerns and the explosion of lubricating facilities that have sprung up around the nation for the comfort of said vehicles...
"
...the recent phenomena of SUVs attacking humans appears to be spilling over to the closely related species, "TRUCKS"
But the truck had remorse, even said "oops" as it ran down two Earth Day celebrants. Only SUVs are evil.