Headline should read, "Midnight Burglar Stopped Short By Heroic Flying Gnome"
Followup Headline will read, "Woman sued for attacking burglar with blunt object"
Three years later, headline will read, "Parliament Passes Law Protecting Trespassers From Assault"
The story will read that tenants must first make a good faith attempt to escape the premises to call the cops prior to engaging an intruder within their home.
Three years later, headline will read, "Parliament Passes Law Protecting Trespassers From Assault and Bans Gnomes"