[HitmanLV]

I agree with you. This topic comes up from time to time on FR and my observations are well known (if a bit controversial).

In a nutshell, I think that 'nice men' make themselves nice by shedding themselves of their sexual instinct. They figure (wrongly) that by not being an overtly sexual animal, the woman they pine for will get sexually excited by this (abnormal?) restraint and reward them with their sexual affection.

So 'the plan' is to not present themselves as a sexual being and that this will somehow prompt a sexual response from the woman they admire. It's a dumb plan and almost never works. The woman invariably will find no sexual spark in a male like this and reject him - men like that are just not sexually exciting.

Jerks, on the other hand, are unambiguously masculine. Women who fall for this mistake the exaggerated masculine traits of the jerk for genuine healthy masculine traits. These men get rewarded by sexual attention, though it often leads to heartache.

The solution isn't hard - be neither 'nice' nor a 'jerk.' The choice isn't between one or the other. I tell men to be a 'good guy,' not a 'nice guy.' Keep your sexual instinct and identity - don't make your sexual responses a secret, but don't overstate it by being rude, overbearing, or notably jerky.

[Concentrate]

It's also about exclusivity. No woman wants you to have a family on the side. This is womens' territory! Even Lesbians demand exclusivity. It's hard-wired DNA commands.

[SouthernFreebird]

You got it right... post #77 I know a man just like that, trys to convince me he's not looking to get laid.... it's just not good unless your with someone you care about...blah blah blah.
That makes him the most unsexiest man ever.

[VRW Conspirator]

The solution isn't hard - be neither 'nice' nor a 'jerk.' The choice isn't between one or the other. I tell men to be a 'good guy,' not a 'nice guy.' Keep your sexual instinct and identity - don't make your sexual responses a secret, but don't overstate it by being rude, overbearing, or notably jerky.

To expand on what you advise: It seems to me that the greatest skill to obtain is emotional control. This includes what you state. Don't be overly nice, yet don't be obnoxious. Don't come across as neutered, yet do not come across as oversexed(under-satisfied). Do not be overly interested, yet do not be insensitive. Have a sense of humopr but know that timing is also involved..blah...blah...blah

What also helps is to know what key traits you are looking for in a prospective mate before you go looking.

Chapter 2: Nice guys finish last
Chapter 3: Nice guys get to finish
Chapter 4: Nice guys get to play over and over
Chapter 5: Nice guys can be smart and nice
Chapter 6: Nice guys do not have to be nice all the time
etc., etc.