Llamas are good guards for sheep and goats. Coyotes don't mess with them.
LEOs, please call ARIES for assistance!
Pay up to the FReepathon or your Humorscope comes TRUE!!!!
If it's good, I get 25%
Wednesday, April 6, 2005
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Tomorrow is a good day to wear your lucky Rocketship underwear. Try not to leap into rooms while shouting "Hark!" however.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Beware of celery.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Remember today: two wrongs don't make a right. But three do.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Today will be Mexican Food day, for you. In fact, chances are better than 1 in 3 that someone will refer to you as "Frijole-breath" before the day is through.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Today you will discover a strange-looking thing in your underwear drawer. Best not to tell anyone.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Today you will finally get around to exercising! Your cat will look at you like you've gone completely whacky. Don't be intimidated, though -- at least you never get distracted and forget that you're holding your leg up behind your head.
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
You've about had it with one particular fool in your life. Have you considered investing in a tranquilizer gun? Mine comes in very handy, especially at work.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Your manager will be a twit, today. That's ok, though -- it's what he's paid for.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
You will have a grilled cheese sandwich and tomato soup for lunch, and will receive a phone call from a man named "Sven", but who tells you his name is something else. Don't believe him for a second. He will be very impressed that you knew his actual name.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
Unknown to you, people think you are a wimp - just because of your weak handshake. You need to get one of those hand exercisers, and use it constantly for a few months. Then, crush their little hands into pulp!
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
Today you'll idly wonder what ever happened to Alan Alda, since his MASH days. Believe me, you don't want to know. Neither do I (and I don't). I just know that neither of us wants to.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
A man wearing two left shoes and a shirt with only one sleeve will approach you today, and try to interest you in a no-load mutual fund. Trust him -- he knows what he's doing.
We've got Coyotes here. I hunt them when I have time.