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To: Fiddlstix

Pride
Cometh
Before
A
Fall.



BWWWWAHHHHHHHH


374 posted on 04/05/2005 9:18:50 PM PDT by Brad’s Gramma (aitch tee tee pea colon 2 slashes dubya dubya dubya dot proud patriots dot org)
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To: Brad's Gramma

Ladies - Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes
for future use in casseroles and sauces.

Real Women - Leftover wine?? Hello!!

************************************************************

Ladies - Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on
your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

Real Women - Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink. You
might still have the headache, but who the hell cares!

*************************************************************
Ladies - Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone
to prevent ice cream drips.

Real Women - Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone,
for Pete's sake. You are probably lying on your ass on the couch, with
your feet up anyway.

*************************************************************
Ladies - To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with
the potatoes.

Real Women - Buy boxed mashed potato mix and you don't have to worry
about the potatoes growing arms and legs.

*************************************************************
Ladies - When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a
bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white powdery mess on
the bottom of the cake.

Real Women - Go to the bakery - they'll even decorate the son of a
bitch for you.

*************************************************************
Ladies - Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to
yield a beautiful glossy finish.

Real Women - Sara Lee frozen freakin pie directions do not include
brushing egg whites, so don't do it.

*************************************************************
Ladies - If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dish
washing gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

Real Women - Go ask the very HOT neighbor guy to do it.

*************************************************************
And finally the most important tip... .

*************************************************************

A good friend will come and bail you out of jail....... but, a true
friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn... that was fun!!
 

1,299 posted on 04/07/2005 4:36:44 PM PDT by trussell (Please come bump the freepathon... http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/1377615/posts)
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