Wasn't that the same compaint he had about the last lovely home you found for him?
Picky, picky, picky.
Cancer, you are so much fun!!!
Send a few bucks to the FReepathon and end this misery!
You will have a visit from "The Scourge of Valderia." He's thin, small, balding, wears little round glasses, and dresses in a rumpled blue suit. Still you don't want to cross him.
You will need two torches, a sword, leather armor, and a significant amount of courage today. And for heaven's sake, don't forget the twine.
You will make several somewhat inadviseable impulse purchases today. Fortunately, you will be able to return all of them, except for the Hormel "100 Years Of SPAM!" decorative wallclock.
Excellent day to dig a very big hole. If you pile the dirt up around the sides, and make huge "paw prints" around it, you can have some fun by phoning a TV station and telling them about the gigantic gopher you saw.
You will invent a cool machine that will automatically make over 800 different varieties of coffee drinks. Unfortunately, everyone will go back to drinking just plain coffee.
You will find that it is true - everything is better with the addition of either chocolate or garlic (but not both). Well, except for running shoes, that is.
Time to do something about that high blood pressure. Have you tried leeches?
It's about time you became better acquainted with mustard. Get yourself 7 different kinds of mustard, and try them with oven baked home fried potatoes, or in sandwiches with good bread and fresh vegetables and some excellent Swiss cheese. My granddaddy Stonebender always used to say "Take a big enough bite of strong mustard, and your other problems will seem insignificant."
This is a good time to start becoming a connosieur. You have to take that one thing at a time, though - e.g. nobody is going to become a wine connosier overnight. Start with something that's fun to say. Pumpernickel, for example.
When's the last time you did something nice for Doug? Sure, he's cranky a lot, and dresses funny, but he's a good person. Perhaps you should take him to lunch?
You will discover that you can wiggle your ears today, and will actually become quite good at it. People will invite you to parties.
Today you will buy a package of those birthday-party confetti-blaster thingies, and will rig booby traps for several of your friends. One of them will die of a heart-attack, due to the surprise, and you'll be plagued with horrible undying guilt for the rest of your life. Plus, you will run out of toothpaste, today. |
Complaint!!!
But, I'm sure you figured out what I meant.
(I'm getting a bit punchy.)
They are all beautiful homes. But I like a manicured lawn.