Replies

(check all boxes that apply)

Dear:

 [ ] Clueless Newbie   [ ] Lamer         [ ] Flamer
 [ ] Loser             [ ] Spammer       [ ] Troller
 [ ] "Me too" er       [ ] Pervert       [ ] Geek
 [ ] Freak             [ ] Nerd          [ ] Elvis
 [ ] Racist            [ ] Fed           [ ] Freak                  
 [ ] Fundamentalist    [ ] Satanist      [ ] Homeopath
 [ ] Unbearably self-righteous person


I took exception to your recent:

 [ ] Email   [ ] Post to ____________________.
                               (newsgroup)
 
It was (check all that apply):

 [ ] Lame           [ ] Stupid         [ ] Abusive
 [ ] Clueless       [ ] Idiotic        [ ] Brain-damaged
 [ ] Imbecilic      [ ] Arrogant       [ ] Malevolent
 [ ] Contemptible   [ ] Libelous       [ ] Ignorant
 [ ] Clueless       [ ] Stupid         [ ] Fundamentalist
 [ ] Boring         [ ] Dim            [ ] Cowardly
 [ ] Deceitful      [ ] Demented       [ ] Self-righteous
 [ ] Crazy          [ ] Weird          [ ] Hypocritical
 [ ] Loathsome      [ ] Satanic        [ ] Despicable
 [ ] Belligerent    [ ] Mind-numbing   [ ] Maladroit
 [ ] Much longer than any worthwhile thought of which you may be capable.
 


 Your attention is drawn to the fact that:

 [ ] You posted what should have been emailed
 [ ] You obviously don't know how to read your newsgroups line
 [ ] You are trying to make money on a non-commercial newsgroup
 [ ] You self-righteously impose your religious beliefs on others
 [ ] You self-righteously impose your racial beliefs on others
 [ ] You posted a binary in a non-binaries group
 [ ] You don't know which group to post in
 [ ] You posted something totally uninteresting
 [ ] You crossposted to *way* too many newsgroups
 [ ] I don't like your tone of voice
 [ ] What you posted has been done before.
 [ ] Not only that, it was also done better the last time.
 [ ] You quoted an *entire* post in your reply
 [ ] You started a long, stupid thread
 [ ] You continued spreading a long stupid thread
 [ ] Your post is absurdly off topic for where you posted it 
 [ ] You posted a followup to crossposted robot-generated spam
 [ ] You posted a "test" in a discussion group rather than in alt.test
 [ ] You posted a "YOU ALL SUCK" message
 [ ] You posted low-IQ flamebait
 [ ] You posted a blatantly obvious troll
 [ ] You followed up to a blatantly obvious troll
 [ ] You said "me too" to something
 [ ] You make no sense
 [ ] Your sig/alias is dreadful
 [ ] You must have spent your life in a skinner box to be this clueless.
 [ ] You posted a phone-sex ad
 [ ] You posted a stupid pyramid money making scheme
 [ ] You claimed a pyramid-scheme/chain letter for money was legal 
 [ ] Your margin settings (or lack of) make your post unreadable.  Each line 
just goes on and on, not stopping at 75 characters, making it hard to read.
 [ ] You posted in ELitE CaPitALs to look k0OwL
 [ ] You posted a message in ALL CAPS, and you don't even own a TRS-80
 [ ] Your post was FULL of RANDOM CAPS for NO APPARENT REASON
 [ ] You have greatly misunderstood the purpose of this newsgroup.
 [ ] You have greatly misunderstood the purpose of the Internet.
 [ ] You are a loser.
 [ ] This has been pointed out to you before.
 [ ] You didn't do anything specific, but appear to be so generally
     worthless that you are being flamed on general principles.

 
It is recommended that you:
 
 [ ] Get a clue
 [ ] Get a life
 [ ] Go away
 [ ] Grow up
 [ ] Never post again
 [ ] Read every newsgroup you posted to for a week 
 [ ] stop reading Usenet news and get a life
 [ ] stop sending Email and get a life
 [ ] Bust up your modem with a hammer and eat it
 [ ] Have your medication adjusted
 [ ] Jump into a bathtub while holding your monitor
 [ ] find a volcano and throw yourself in
 [ ] get a gun and shoot yourself
 [ ] Actually post something relevant
 [ ] Read the FAQ
 [ ] stick to FidoNet and come back when you've grown up
 [ ] Apologize to everybody in this newsgroup
 [ ] consume excrement
 [ ] consume excrement and thus expire
 [ ] Post your tests to alt.test/misc.test
 [ ] Put your home phone number in your ads from now on
 [ ] Refrain from posting until you have a vague idea what you're doing


 In Closing, I'd Like to Say:
 
 [ ] You need to seek psychiatric help
 [ ] Take your gibberish somewhere else
 [ ] *plonk*
 [ ] Learn how to post or get off the usenet
 [ ] Most of the above
 [ ] All of the above
 [ ] Some of the above, not including All of the above
 [X] You are so clueless that I didn't even bother filling in this form.