First one, natural delivery, with an epidural
Second one, natural delivery, with an epidural, took too long to deliver
Third one, very rapid development, no time for epidural as the baby was already coming out (epidurals take time). My wife was horrified and she'd never felt like that before, but the delivery was quick. Later on she said what women have been saying for millenia: "It was painful but I can't remember it."
Your problem was talking with the women in your church about women's issues. It makes you a sensitive guy to communicate with women but in the end women are women and are never wrong in their minds.
I personally don't think there is anything wrong with using medicine to make life easier. I had a tooth extracted and had novocaine -- that didn't happen 100 years ago.
Suggestion: if this is your first child, let your wife do the epdiural. She feels about 25% of the pain so it's not like our mothers, who were 100% knocked out. Some women never have easy deliveries -- they are long, drawn out, and painful. Some women are made to delivery easily, like my wife. It has nothing to do with size or height, as my wife is a naturally slender lady.
Also, some women turn into near-demons during delivery. If your wife is one of those, she might curse you if she's feeling 100% of the pain during a long, 12-hour delivery.
So get through the first one with the epidural. If it's quick, and smooth, and your wife is ebullient and joyful about the process, THEN do the fully natural the 2d, 3rd, and 4th times.
Last bit of advice -- stop talking about these things with the ladies at church. No matter what you talk about you become gossip fodder for them behind your back. It's a lose-lose ballgame.
My mom used to say that: It's painful, but you don't remember it. That explains why babies get siblings. If you remember it, you wouldn't do it again.
I had a kidney stone when I was 16, and I sure as heck remember that! I vowed to never have another one again ; )