Okay, I'll chime in on this one, and I'm actually on the husband's side on this one.
My brother was cremated after his death a few months ago. My sister-in-law has the ashes, and has not determined what she is going to do with them.
The memorial service was done before the cremation, and just a few days after my brother died.
Now, my sister-in-law is going to do something private with the ashes.
My brother knew he was dying, and they did make all of the arrangements beforehand. That's the main difference. My brother was not very religious, but my parents are devout Methodists, and my sister-in-law is a devout Catholic. She did everything the way my brother would have wanted it.
>>>She did everything the way my brother would have wanted it.
So you honestly believe that Terri would have WANTED for her parents to not attend her funeral or even know where she was buried.
The difference IS that your SIL did what your brother would have wanted. This is not the case with this creton.