Towards the end, he was unable to swallow, and began choking on even the most pureed foods. One day, in the presence of my Grandma, and the doctor, he stated that he wanted a feeding tube put in. The doctor was unsure of his mental capabilities at this time, and took Grandma aside and explained to her, that he would transfer decisions to her (she was listed as Health care POA). The doctor explained to her that it was easy to put in a feeding tube, but legally, and morally much harder to remove it. Grandma had just heard her husband say "put it in", and of course followed his wishes (this conflicted her).
For the next two months, she went through a living hell. Due to the feeding tubes Grandpa became diabetic, in fact at times his blood sugars went up into the 600 range, the doctors would then stabilize his insulin, and he would go in and out of diabetic comas. Grandpa had never been a diabetic before the tube was inserted.
Two months later he died, but now Grandma remembers those last days with horror, not with the wonderful memories that she should have of the life they shared together.
I guess my story points out that feeding tubes can be "bad" things in some situations, and I applaud your families courage through your tough times.
I think in the throes of the realization of impending death, sometimes we wish for the death not to occur.
Had your grandfather foreseen what the feeding tube would have done, had your grandmother foreseen the results, would either have chosen differently?
That's the problem with feeding tubes, IMO. They truly are medical intervention and preempt what God may have meant to happen.
Why can people not accept the natural progression? Why do we fight to have procedures that may be worse than the "cure"?