The worst part was.. he had told me over and over during the years (for real, not like Mikey) that he would rather be dead than in one of those places.. and I put him there.. and I could see in his eyes that he was in hell inside... I know God forgives me... I know he would forgive me.. I just don't know that I can forgive myself...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~The worst part was.. he had told me over and over during the years (for real, not like Mikey) that he would rather be dead than in one of those places..
Awestruck, just the other day I was asking myself what I would do if someone I deeply loved needed round the clock nursing care, and I couldn't give it at home or couldn't afford it. I thrashed around that one for a long time and didn't come up with a satisfactory answer, but I think the key to remember is that we don't place our loved ones in nursing homes because we don't love them...but because we do. If we visit as often as humanly possible, make a commitment to the one we love (as it sounds like you did), then a nursing home is not the worst thing to do. It is only bad when people DUMP their folks in nursing homes, walk away, or neglect them. There is a huge difference, and love makes the difference. It sounds to me like you loved your daddy and took care of him. If the doctors were deceiptful, that is to THEIR everlasting shame, not yours...you trusted them.