I don't disagree with your assessment of the NY Times, and I agree that too many times they imply that shirking responsibility is okay due to abuse, drugs, etc., every place except where it belongs. But let's look at that.
You are a responsible parent, since your four year old is being taught right from wrong. This should be the norm. However, both parents of this kid died in horrible circumstances when he was in grade school. He was sent floating.
Your reply to hearing the facts about this kid's troubled childhood emphasizes the difference nicely. Parents ~do~ matter, don't they?
I fully agree, that parents make all the difference in the world. My 4 year old daughter is adopted - her birth parents were both barely 15 when she was born. I shudder to think what her life would be like if her young mother decided to keep her. But I also believe that God worked it out to allow us to have this beautiful child when we couldn't have one of our own.
In an earlier post, I related how my wife had suicidal/homicidal feelings while on Prozac. I've seen too many children drugged to keep them under control in our society and I don't like it. I would have been diagnosed with ADHD when young, but there were no drugs at that time to treat it. I learned self control instead of chemical control. Sometimes I feel that the drugs are used by parents and teachers who don't want to deal with the problems that the children have. I WILL NEVER LET THEM DRUG MY CHILD!!!!