"I started firing with my M4 [light machine gun] with my left hand and the 249 [machine gun] with my right hand, trying to lay down fire on both sides," said Mike.
Mike is a bad ass.
"... insurgents started firing machine guns from a two-story house, wounding three U.S. soldiers."
"I went inside the vehicle and grabbed the anti-tank rocket and took the house out," said Mike."
Mike does Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.
Emphasis on "Extreme".