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To: risk
I'm far from finished Domestic Enemies, alas. I only have the first 20% (which I've written) on the website.


114 posted on 03/20/2005 9:03:19 PM PST by Travis McGee (----- www.EnemiesForeignAndDomestic.com -----)
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To: Travis McGee

Ranya's situation looks pretty interesting by chapter two, although I think you could emphasize culture as the central problem over race with a few subtle changes that wouldn't undermine the core message. The family moving to Idaho might be blacks who've had enough of the encroachment of uncivilized, non-English culture in their area, for example.

You're holding back her motivations (which probably go beyond her son) with a conventional sort of time slicing. You could add more memories or foreshadows, kind of like the pocket watch music in "For a Few Dollars More."

Things are so much worse in this alternate world (than they seem like they are getting now) that it has an intriguing sort of futurism to it, almost a science fiction feel. You could go into greater detail about the technology advances (lo/cheap/micro tech).

I think there were a lot of traditional values in the adventure/SF piece Lucifer's Hammer by Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle. It could be an undiscovered genre, and your work could be part of it.


119 posted on 03/21/2005 3:34:12 AM PST by risk
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To: Travis McGee
Bitchin' cover design, Trav!
122 posted on 03/21/2005 8:05:33 AM PST by Joe Brower (The Constitution defines Conservatism.)
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