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I have never seen a discussion of something I have seen in hospitals and seen with elderly relatives that has alarmed me.

Now when you go in, they ask you to sign "advance directives". Most people don't give it much thought, they are sick and check the things they are given to expect or ordinary.

My mother signed a DNR order,,she did not want to be put on "machines". Now there is a good reason not to do so.. Ventilators are used for brief periods when people have overwhelming pneumonia. It gives them time to respond to antibiotics and live. Nobody tells them that.

At her last hospitalization, about two days into it, she was 84, I noticed she was not being given her heart meds, no meds. I went down to see what was up and was told, "she signed a DNR order". Now she was elderly and frail and had early dementia and had a respiratory arrest when she came in the ER but had recovered and had seemed alert and fine and asking when lunch was. She was enjoying life at home with her cat and her TV and visits from children, etc. She was not asking to die.

I pointed out this and everyone glared at me, gave her meds and she got better. She died later, a few days later, of an unexpected pulmonary embolism probably brought about by two days of no heart meds and lying in bed.

But the point is, the hospital, a Catholic Hospital I might add, was erring on the side of assuming she came there to die just because she didn't want artificial proloonging of life when things were hopeless.

This alarms me and continues to do so. I wonder how many old people die because everyone assumes they are ready to when they really aren't.

Sorry about you Mom.

You make a good point. The hospital staff will ask about your intentions, but probably gloss over what exactly that means. In my days of working in the hospital I helped at over 200 cardiac arrests. We probably 'brought back' close to 2/3rds of them and most of them needed some time on the machines and they walked out in much better shape.

I'm sure that in today's setting, those who walked in on their own would routinely turn down the 'extra measures' thinking it meant one thing when it meant another and they would die unnecessarily.