That is so fine, lsee. We have just a bit experience in this area, caring for 90 year old and blind Edward. What you say about having oneself changed by serving some of the "least of these" is absolutely correct. Though, at least for me, it is a daily battle to get it done; I have to change every day, when I find myself annoyed and inconvenienced by his presence. (That is a shameful thing to admit, because he is a better man than I will ever be.)
Then, on good days, I can collect myself, do the right things, and get the blessing.
(((HUGS))) It is natural and normal to sometimes have feelings of resentment and annoyance toward someone you are responsible for full-time. Caregivers can avoid burn-out by having regularly scheduled relief from their duties...a day they know they can put their loved one into someone else's care for a few hours or a weekend so they can have some time for themselves. It's not shameful to admit to having negative feelings sometimes about your role. That's called being human. Being hard on yourself for not being "perfect" creates useless guilt.
Heck, raising my babies was sometimes an exasperating and exhausting task. Two days a week, I got a break when they went for a few hours to preschool. It saved my sanity! Even just having a friend to swap sitting duties with so each of us could be "free" for a bit was very helpful. Having other caregivers to talk to is also very helpful. Play groups were always about us moms, not so much for the kids...because talking to other people who are struggling with your same issues is very comforting. It's the same thing with caregiver conferences and support groups. I watched my mother-in-law care for her mother and I've seen how challenging it can be when you try to do everything by yourself. The people you are caring for are leaning on you pretty heavily...sometimes you have to have someone YOU can lean on. Hang in there!
winston
My condolences on the loss of your wife. I can't even imagine what you went through. Your experience certainly gives dimension to your viewpoint.