Then you apparently share my view of what a marriage is. Most Freepers agree with us about that, but I'm sure you've run into at least a couple who are utterly confused.
If I were in Michael Shiavo's situation and I thought that I could not honor my vows to my husband, I would divorce him. I would not disrespect him by carrying on with other men, whether he was aware of it or not. It's really a non-issue for me anyway because when I said "forsaking all others as long as you both shall live", I meant it.