A POEM TO ME MUDDER
When me prayers were poorly said
Who tucked me in my widdle bed
And spanked me till my "arse" was red
Me Mudder.
Who took me from my cozy cot
And put me on the ice cold pot
And made me pee if I could not
Me Mudder
And when the morning light would come
And in my crib I’d dribble some
Who wiped my tiny widdle bum
Me Mudder.
And who me hair would neatly part
And hug me gently to her heart
And sometimes squeeze me till I fart
Me Mudder
Who looked at me with eyebrows knit
And nearly had a king sized fit
When in me Sunday pants I $hit
Me Mudder
And when at night the bed did squeak
Me raised me head to have a peek 
Who yelled at me to go to sleep
Me Fodder