Gender is not irrelevant. Most men (not all) cannot understand the full implication of an unplanned pregnancy these days. No man can experience the beauty of a baby growing inside his body and the bone-wrenching pain when that love is combined with the fear of having the baby. Few men will lose sleep over an abortion or even an adoption.
I think you are really generalizing there.....true men won't know the physical or true emotional elements of birthing or pregnancy, but they can have deep feelings about it......that is like saying a most women can't grasp the virtues of war or combat since they don't for the most part fight on the front line.....well, they may not experience but I'll bet they feel the horrors and triumph or war almost as much as the men
Questions of abortion should be decided on facts and principles of right and wrong. If we are deciding as we should, gender doesn't matter.
And I think a lot of men care a great deal whether their children live or die. Let me speak a word for men! They are the fathers, and the children are theirs too, and any man worth anything loves his children.