I have a friend who got divorced last year from such a "high-maintenance" type. The short answer to "why is she high maintenance?" is "because she CAN be". In a society where she knows she will come out on top in any divorce, she had no incentive to try to be anything else.
Forty years ago, the courts may have been just as biased against men as they are now, but that was tempered with the realization that a guy who was pushed too far could just disappear and start over again elsewhere. Today's database-driven society precludes such easy escape
There is a risk to letting the situation get much worse (and the disgruntlement is not limited to guys on this forum -- the women just have the opportunity to hear what guys really think when we talk among ourselves). The risk is that more guys will just say "the hell with it". At some point women should rent the movie "Fight Club" to get a picture of how guys get when they get alienated from society sufficiently to just let it all crash down and laugh.
A while back, I wrote an essayWas Patriarchy a Women's Scheme to Control Men? on the subject of what motivates men to connect up with women
There is a trade off in marraige between two spouses, you need to know or try and find out what is important in your marraige what does your husband truly want from you? and what does a woman want from her husband to keep both parties happy. IMHO most men would appreciate a wife that cooks for him appreciates what he does for her and would be happy if she did a lap dance for him once in awhile..LOL.