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"I git it just fine, my FRiend...the BadGuys are gonna git whupped in a ROUT...MUD"

OK, pal.

Let us first define "Bad Guys," shall we?
Clintigula? {he bad-he bad}
His bitch, the august senator? {she bad too}
How 'bout The Punk? {he badder-he badder *yet*}
I've 1,000 Big that says no one of those three will ever see anything remotely resembling the kind of justice I think we'd *both* like to see meted out to scoundrels so deep in the stinky *kimchee* as they most certainly are.
Ever.
None.
Nada.
Nyet.
Nitz.
Period.
Capiche, Amigo?

My terms are as follows:

Part 1: IF any one of those 3 are brought up on charge(s) -- for anything, parking tickets notwithstanding -- within one year of today, March 5th, 2005, I pay you.
No questions asked.
If any one of the 3 aren't brought up on charge(s) though, you pay me.

Be advised *since* I've had dealings with you in the past that were *somewhat*, ummmm, less than honorable and/or aboveboard?
I *insist* a letter be drafted & signed by your wife *&* before a notary public which would essentially assure me she's been [fully] informed as to exactly what you're up to. ;^)
That way we *nip* any of the potential for slippery shenanigans associated with wagering with you as in the past?
Now those terms are a no-brainer, genius!!
*Easy* money.

And I'll tell you what: if you consummate this wager *today* for the terms contained in Part 1?
I'll spice it up even more by offering a heavy hitter the likes of you an *especially* sweet deal. :o)

Part 2: If any one of the 3 are brought up on charges within the next *2* years, I'll pay you 2,000 Big.
But if any one of the 3 are not brought up on charges within 2 years?
You owe me 1,500 Big.
Part 2 is totally optional, of course.

Shootin' fish in the proverbial barrel.
How can you resist?

So.
Are you ready to *rumble*, sonny?
If so put up *or* shut up.

FBD?
Might be in need of a *judge* over here.

...so stand by, kiddo. ;^)