I am sick of these vicious attacks on my former comrade-in-arms, Lt. JF Kerry. I swam the Mekong into Cambodia on a many moonless night with this brave hero. We carried chloroformed cloths with us in zip-lock baggies, with which we would cause VietCong sentries to pass out by sneaking up soundlessly behind them and pressing them to their faces.
Then JFK would do the lifeguard crawl towing two or three of our hapless and comatose captives back to our HQ for rigorous interrogation, and eventual rehabilitation as Massachussetts dry cleaners and registered Democrats.
I received the first of my 17 Purple Hearts (with Palm) for the vicious case of Swimmer's Ear I contracted on that very Christmas Eve that is seared into the Lt.'s memory. Lt. Kerry was kind enought to mention me in the after-action reports and endorse the awards. I of course, returned the favour by endorsing him for the Croix de Guerre avec Gran Saucisse and recommending him for a Knighthood.
Of course, JFK cannot execute a 180, as all of this is absolutely top bygod-secret. I hope I can rely on the discretion of Freepers everywhere to drop this inquiry and recognize my former CO as the true hero he is.
CC:
THK
JFK: kb
what can I say...
you have convinced me that to continue to explore these allegations further would be a great disservice to our nation...for, his (and your) heroic deeds must remain forever unmentioned, but seared, for their secret but honorable service.
Too bad you gave him your hat, tho.