Girl Bullies' Quiet Style Of Brutality

SFGate ^ | March 1, 2005 | C.W. Nevius

[cyborg]

good article

[ConservativeMan55]

bttt

[Tax-chick]

Men will come out and just say what they think.

Some will. A couple of my husband's male employees went behind his back to the department head and whined that he's too task-oriented, doesn't hold their hands enough. I asked him if they're gay, but he said no. Just girly-men, I guess.

[Sender]

I think there are a lot of girls who haven't learned to deal with bitches. Unfortunately.

[ConservativeMan55]

bttt

[Explorer89]

Hardly a day goes by that one of my kids (boys or girls) doesn't tell another, "I'm not playing with you ever again!"

My kids beat the s!!! out of each other continuously.....but are (I'm told by other parents) very kind to their schoolmates. I don't believe that it is anything in particular that I have done, except for them not getting their every wish fulfilled instantly. I do talk to my daughter about always being kind to the other children and to think about how she would like to be treated. But the little prima donnas are already showing showing their colors at that age. (Heck, even I remember it from as early as first grade....the girls who had "the look" had mommies who lavished "The Look" upon them.)

[Chode]

Mean Girls???

ohhh yeah...

[GraniteStateConservative]

I saw a friend get punched by his girlfriend standing in a parking lot. I could see that deep down inside, he wanted to retaliate, but he didn't. And she knew he wouldn't.

"I would never ever, ever hit a woman... never... man, never hit a woman....... but I'd shake the sh!t out of one." -- Chris Rock

[Tax-chick]

Mine are better with other children than with their brothers and sisters, too. I think some of the wolf-cub behavior is unavoidable, and they outgrow it as they have more involvement with the rest of the world. I make my children sit on the sofa and hold hands when they've been particularly obnoxious to one another :-).

[small_l_libertarian]

Obviously, my post was not complete enough. That was entirely my fault.

Certainly, boys vs. girls is much different from girls vs. girls. (At a young age, I really believe that this should not be an issue, except that boys need to be taught really young not to hit girls.)

I feel for your son. It isn't fair that he's punished for simply retaliating. (Yeah, but who ever said that life was fair?) I'm still sorry for him, though.

[walden]

"She's one of these teens that has to learn everything the hard way."

My daughter also has to learn everything the hard way-- her character issues were different, but hardly better. Anyway, now she's 18 and turning into a wonderful young woman. I never stopped noticing her bad behavior and pointing out to her the consequences of it, and she finally got it through her thick skull that her bullsh*t wasn't working, and it wasn't EVER going to work. It was kind of like a light went off when she figured that out, a real "Eureka!" moment. ;)

So, don't give up!

[Hillwoman]

It is a big deal. And in the tiny town I came from the teachers were much like the children, into their same social code of who mattered and who didn't. The run amock adolescent world is a total character-free zone. I came to despise the kids that did this so much that I went from being an easy-going quiet kid to someone completely filled with hate by the time I graduated. Luckily in college the rules changed somewhat. It is a sick world when some gal everyone knows is "doing" the football team is of a much higher regard than someone trying to be a decent kid. Should the child domain be allowed to have such completely seperate (and decadent) values? I was in school a long time ago and things are much worse now.

[Not A Snowbird]

We won't! I have confidence that we will also see a "Eureka!" moment. Although she'd rather eat worms than tell us we were right! :-)

[Tax-chick]

I was in school a long time ago and things are much worse now.

Bump that! I used to be a nice person, before junior high. I was in my 30's before I realized where all the anger came from.

[caseinpoint]

Sorry about your daughter's experience. My teenage girls have gone through their own trials. I remember years ago reading a book that pointed out the difference between men and women and friendships. Notably, it said that women's/girl's friendships were based on "relationships" while men's/boy's were based on activities. Thus, gals had bosom buddies while guys had "golfing buddies", "basketball friends", "hunting buddies", "coworkers", etc. The men tended not to form friendships where there was much sharing of personal information while women defined friendships based on how much personal information was shared.

It seems to me that one result of the difference is that women are much more vulnerable to and capable of psychological wounding. If we do nothing else, we ought to teach our children to be careful with whom they share personal information that might be later used against them.

[Alkhin]

I married into the family of one of these girls. I shoudl tell you about the case of 'high grade granite' sometime. It was the epitome of the entire way she dealt with me and everyone in her family.

Get familiar with the concept of 'passive-aggressive.' Women aren't the ONLY perpetrators of it though. Men are JUST AS BAD.

[antceecee]

My daughter is in college now. She went through several 'awakenings' regarding the sharing of personal feelings and information. She had to completely sever her relationship with a couple of what she thought of as 'best friends'. She doesn't miss them, she has gone from hating them for the things they did, to feeling disgusted with them, to complete ambivalence.

[I'm ALL Right!]

It certainly is bullying. It's emotional bullying, which leaves just as many scars as physical bullying. My sister was on a cheerleading squad full of witchy little girls who decided she was the target. She was prettier than all of them, and smarter, and funnier....which is probably why they chose to hurt her. 20 years later she is still dealing with the year of bullying she recieved from all of them.

[Mrs. Shawnlaw]

I hate working with a bunch of women!God saw fit to bless me with a son to which I am very thankful. A girl I grew up with used to tease me horribly about being flat chested. When I had my son I realised the pain she must have been in when her milk came in! God's Revenge Is Definitily Sweeter Than Anything I Could Have Come Up With!

[CORedneck]

Interesting thread. One thing is I don't like women/girls with princess attitudes.

First, my brother has a 4 year old daughter. She is a character. She is turning into a little princess with an attitude. My brother and his wife has a paddle, I call it the "board of education". They use it frequently between her and her brother. Our family believes in corporal punishment.

Second, I have a cousin who is a few years younger than I am. She grew up in a very wealthy family and had a snobby attitude. Back in college, she would ride in my car with me to from one place to my parents house. I would get into my car to start it up and the stereo would be on a hard rock station. It was playing Ted Nugent's song, "Stranglehold". She was already in my car when I got in and was hearing Madonna. I made a comment, " since when does Q-95 play Madonna" and proceeded to change it back. She got p*ssed and I mentioned this is my car and I will play what I want but I told that she can ask nicely for something different. She did this to me a few times but told her I won't put up with her attitude. Another time, she was at my bro's house in the country and one of his roommates had an older car that was being fixed up and she made a comment that the car looked like it belonged there. P*ssed off my mom !

Another time, when I was in grad school, I was waiting for a parking spot by the engineering building. I saw this white Honda Prelude driving by a few times and when a parking spot opened, I proceeded to take the spot. She tried to block me but she didn't want her car to get rammed by my truck. I got out and she open her window and proceeded to yell at me saying that she was entitled to the spot, etc. I told her that I was here first and she was entitled to nothing. She threatened to file charges against me and I told her to make my day. Heard nothing.